Clumsy
Today, for the second time in a row, I slammed into the edge of the doorway while half asleep. My entire body hurts. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
All over the place
Today, I managed to somehow trip and fall on my back twice within just two hours. My back didn’t hurt the first time, but it sure does now. FML
no one
United States
SO FRUSTRATING
Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML
Anonymous
Perth, Australia
I don't know my strength
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
oliver
United States
Nightmare mode
Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML
DBR
United States
Make it stop!
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Nick
United Kingdom
Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML
Too tall for this shit
Fresno, United States
Fiat 500 woes
Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML
Amy
Prince George, Canada
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
alycion
Today, I woke up with my face flying at the wall. A muscle spasm had caused me to pop out of bed. I'm now dealing with a concussion and sprained neck, thanks to an almost physically impossible feat. FML
Anonymous
Today, I tripped and fell going up the stairs, not once, but twice at work as I was leading customers through our building. I actually got bruises. FML
Top comments
bloopaloop 27
Did it fix your “half asleep” problem?
RichardPencil 32
“Half-asleep” appears to be a euphemism for “drunk as a skunk” or “high as a kite.”
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
“Half-asleep” appears to be a euphemism for “drunk as a skunk” or “high as a kite.”
bloopaloop 27
Did it fix your “half asleep” problem?
purplepixie23 16
It was there first
donb23 23
Time to baby proof those doorways.