Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML
Today, on the bus, a man in his late 30s sat next to me. After a moment, he turned to me and said with a wink, "You must be ovulating, I can smell your vagina." FML
Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML
Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML
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Top comments
aardvarkish 17
I'm all ears
KaylynKicks 0
oooooo sexy! what a turn on
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Comments (174)
Fedor_is_KING 0
I'm curious. What did he want to do with your orifices?
KurouTenshi 0
@61 well, the mouth is good for fingers, penises, toes (if you're into that, I'm not), and maybe a nut or two. the anus is perfect for penis, but only after proper lubrication, otherwise it either just won't go in, or it'll suck. big time. other produces are best to stick with your tongue, cause I can't see a penis going into an ear (buy apparently Seth McFarlen can)
Fedor_is_KING 0
Tenshi, after this post and the other one where you were bragging about your oral skills I believe I want to meet you :P
KurouTenshi 0
@114 well I AM off tomorrow, so~ ;) PM me dude :D you seem like you'd make an awesome FML buddy!!
OIFMedic 0
truly SAD, people don't know what orifice is!!!
kperalta 0
I wouldve beat the shit out of him , idgaf if he's old !
letsgobucks 0
u let him didn't u
Anonononomous 0
he'd prolly liked getting kicked in the groin, he wants op to touch him. doesn't matter it's her foot.
hotpinkdiamond 0
I'm sure deep down, you were truly flattered by a creeper wanting you:)
x_AbyssGazing_x 0
Anyone else notice OP's a dude? =|
awesomechica1229 5
Ewww that makes it even more creepier and I just threw up in my mouth :/
omgitsalex62 0
hahaha i just noticed thaat.
Oreogasm 5
when you say 'all the things', TC, that makes me believe you stayed and wanted to hear 'all about it' and eventually do it with the old man. otherwise u could have left or told him straight up to fk off.
sublimaze 6
the fact that you sat there long enough for him to verbally probe multiple "various orifices" tells me he piqued your interest. at the very least, you should invite that man to your coming-out party
lemony_fml 0
And? Old men are HOT!
okieraider71 4
For a young lady to physically attack an agressive man is not always good advice. Carry mace.