Today, on the bus, a man in his late 30s sat next to me. After a moment, he turned to me and said with a wink, "You must be ovulating, I can smell your vagina." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 35
You should have punched him in the face, and asked how that smelled.
NPDclusterBaware 8
Gross and I bet all the YDIers are /r/niceguys
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Comments (19)
BurnInDemonFire 35
You should have punched him in the face, and asked how that smelled.
BurnInDemonFire 35
Another old post? I thought we were done with these?
Dthsapprntc 23
How to get girls to NOT like you 101.
Wadlaen 23
Well, was he right..?
NPDclusterBaware 8
Gross and I bet all the YDIers are /r/niceguys
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
each with a really small one.
PenguinPal3017 19
The nose knows!
adjwejaelwkdc 21
Ew. Just.... ew..... [shudder]
Joshawott 21
"That's odd, because I can only smell one c- here?"
RoyalSafari 26
That's odd. I thought 'Multiple Miggs' had died in The Silence of the Lambs.
NostalgiaFreak9 41
That's the moment when you start carrying mace.
AmbrosiaFan 18
Well, were you ovulating?