Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML
Today, on the bus, a man in his late 30s sat next to me. After a moment, he turned to me and said with a wink, "You must be ovulating, I can smell your vagina." FML
Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML
Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML
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Top comments
aardvarkish 17
I'm all ears
KaylynKicks 0
oooooo sexy! what a turn on
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Comments (174)
zac12345 0
failure
SeeBrendenBurn 0
Not an FML, unless you didn't like it. But ladies, it's such a turn-on when you let us have fun with whichever bodily hole we can. Especially the ear. Although there is a slight chance of hearing loss, ear sex is fun and pleasurable for both members of intercourse.
brieanna101 0
CREEP OLD DUDE!!! haha take his cane and shove it up his ass!
mathew56765 8
He might like that
ktbird 0
I agree, kick to the groin. Also if your transit has a police force, keep em on speed dial. Threaten to call the cops if he doesn't stop. In Dallas at least our train/bus system has it's own police.
BrownSugar_fml 5
damn
Colts1018 0
sucks
mama2b3 20
grosssss
xHabsfanx 0
Is that a rhetorical question?
kazumaslayer666 3
I find that very disturbing but shows you even pedo/creepy old men take initiative and look in more places than the Internet for booty. fyl sorry you had to listen to all that.
mfmylifesrsly 30
Matt makes me laugh simply because his username matches the suggestions he makes.
ouchthatsux 0
every old person that has been involved in an fml is epic win
ImaginaryFoe 1
OP's name is an epic win.