Intimacy: Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many... - FML

By robotchickens - 10/03/2010 19:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 166

You deserved it 2 707

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By flowerchildd2 - 12/12/2011 23:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 454

You deserved it 3 032

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 891

You deserved it 3 408

By annabellatrix - 14/09/2015 18:20 - Hungary

Spicy

Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 636

You deserved it 2 403

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 22:00

Spicy

Today, on the bus, a man in his late 30s sat next to me. After a moment, he turned to me and said with a wink, "You must be ovulating, I can smell your vagina." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 186

You deserved it 351

By Anonymous - 11/06/2015 21:20 - United States - Helena

Spicy

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 919

You deserved it 3 356

By missprude666 - 19/01/2012 08:32 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 189

You deserved it 4 493

New creepypasta

By pokeballbra - 17/10/2011 05:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 096

You deserved it 4 078

By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 6 852

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 101

You deserved it 2 553

Thanks for sharing

By uni life - 15/05/2012 08:08 - Australia - Perth

Spicy

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 209

You deserved it 2 849

Next

Top comments

aardvarkish 15

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:26

I'm all ears

KaylynKicks 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 23:26

oooooo sexy! what a turn on

Comments

Lee002 8

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:16

OP IS MALE ROFL

Serec 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:17

Old man is cool.

rb2_addict 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 14:58

serec, you look JUST like Serj Tankian!!!! google him

bunny911 16

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:20

and am I the only one that's noticed OP is a guy? that, for me, makes this 10X creepier.

rb2_addict 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:22

dude you look like serj tankian from system of a down. so you guys broke up and now my idol is commenting on FMLs... yay me!! =P

perdix 29

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:22

"What an asshole!" . . . That's what he said. I probably would have listened bemusedly, until he got around to my tear ducts. By then, it will have become boring, repetitive and implausible.

rachness 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 7:35

This perdix, is why I love you

omghehehe 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 8:02

hahahaha ;)

waywick 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:26

awesome! what's an orifice?

bunny911 16

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:29

a bodily openning

kkamp516 10

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:26

lol was his name Herbert?!?! xD

ImaginaryFoe 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:38

If it was a crowded bus, where could she go?If it wasn't a crowded bus, he might've followed her. FYL, OP. You really should've reported him to transit police or the driver or just shouted at him to leave you the hell alone.

Bugatti_Veyron 1

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:45

oh shit this was posted by a dude

BbYhRtLsS 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:50

And that's when you say "Are you tryin to get knocked out today?"

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Keywords

Gamers Video games Love Gross Weird Health First Dates Smells Parents Technology Annoying Kids Jealousy Dogs Animals Pranks AITA Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Amazon Money Cute Birthday Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

The Top

Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 317

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 054

You deserved it 3 116

The Top

Today, I told off my crazy sister-in-law after she made my wife cry for putting on weight during lockdown. Then, as I was sleeping in my armchair, the crazy bitch snuck into the house and cut off every single one of my meter-long dreadlocks. Now I got a BALD HEAD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 490

You deserved it 374

Today, I had a few drinks with a female friend after having a bad week. I got so wasted that I wound up ending the night by giving my boyfriend a rimjob. He thoroughly enjoyed it and thinks it's going to be a regular thing now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 571

You deserved it 7 144

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 710

You deserved it 5 027

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 405

You deserved it 4 265

Today, I was cleaning up the kitchen after a nice cozy dinner with my boyfriend at his parents' country house. I picked up the bottle of olive oil we'd used for cooking and spotted two dead mice in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 335

You deserved it 529

Today, at work, I heard a child whisper, "Mom, why do that woman's ears look like that?" The mom replied, "Because she's not smart enough for a good job." I have large plug ears and a degree in mechanical engineering. I waitress because no engineering firm will hire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 413

You deserved it 2 470