Intimacy: Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower... - FML

By blocked_by_fire - 17/04/2012 18:13 - United States - Pullman

Spicy

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 723

You deserved it 4 511

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
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Same thing different taste

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 546

This old house

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 16:00

Today, the smoke alarm went off while I was in the shower. Fearing a house fire, I jumped out and ran out, wearing just a tiny towel that barely covered my modesty, only to realize that water was coming through the ceiling and on to the smoke alarm, via a leak in the shower tray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 127

By wookieewhosshe - 19/03/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 118

You deserved it 383

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 436

By Jerf - 24/06/2009 00:56 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 905

You deserved it 9 805

Sexy morning

By Anonymous - 15/01/2020 00:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 741

You deserved it 275

Sexy time

By Msmerfner - 03/08/2013 08:40 - United States - Hemet

Spicy

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 477

You deserved it 16 099

Quiet down!

By grooveshark - 30/09/2020 20:01

Spicy

Today, I could hear my parents having sex from the other end of my house. My mom set the stove on fire because she forgot she was cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 125

By chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 952

You deserved it 3 196

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 190

You deserved it 8 409

Next

Top comments

gigglingalways 6

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:16

I guess things got a little too hot and heavy

laden_swallow09 34

Wednesday 18 April 2012 0:19

Doesn't matter, had sex?

Comments

krystalguerrero7 1

Thursday 26 April 2012 5:30

Lol sound like something I would do! Haha this one made me laugh

Arlisshsr 9

Friday 11 May 2012 17:09

Now thats some hot sex!

karennicole143 0

Sunday 27 May 2012 20:30

Lol!

HNHotty 1

Saturday 2 June 2012 9:12

Hilarious.

Miss_Mandi 29

Thursday 21 June 2012 0:18

Yeah, I would hate my life for a few days if that happened to me too lol. FYL

HopelesslyCiara5 19

Saturday 25 May 2013 20:47

OP is obviously smarter than his girlfriend.

dolphinlvr7 24

Thursday 28 May 2015 2:47

That's "hot" ;))

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird Awkward Shopping My ex Racism Family Relatable AITA Love Kids Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cute Cats Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Alcohol Coworkers Health Psychology Mental health Cops Neighbours Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Today, I'd planned a DIY 'treat yourself' spa day at home. I put on a face mask and settled to relax in a bubble bath. Just as I was getting out of the tub, I slipped on the wet floor and crashed into the wall, leaving a perfect imprint of the face mask on the tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 113

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 275

You deserved it 14 941

The Top

Today, we ordered from a burger joint through Uber Eats. We waited over an hour for the food when it should have arrived in 25 minutes. Looking back at the app, we saw that the order was cancelled. The dude was hungry and decided to steal our food and take off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 735

You deserved it 481

Today, my friends created a fake Facebook profile of a girl, and asked me to be in a relationship. Even my friends think I can't get a real girlfriend, and need a fake one to feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 159

You deserved it 4 476

Today, I received a Saturday detention because the assignment I'd handed in had different handwriting. I've been practicing my handwriting skills for the past month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 103

You deserved it 441

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 148

You deserved it 6 929

Today I asked my mother-in-law to borrow a plunger, so she asked what I needed it for. "Poop," I replied. "I've told you this before," she huffed, "you have to poop a little and then flush, poop a little and flush. You can't go all at once." I can't even shit right for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 389

You deserved it 545

Today, for our Christmas gift exchange, we were supposed to all bring alcohol. I got a Crown Royal Apple box with a couple of positive pregnancy tests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 586

You deserved it 518