Today, when my son woke up from his nap, he sleepily reached up. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and he immediately pushed me away. He wasn't reaching for me, he was reaching for the bag of chips on the table next to me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I leaned down to pick up my infant son from his highchair. He reached up and grabbed the first thing available to him: my nipple. I got purple-nurpled by my baby. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 10
Om nom nom chips > Women fo real
thewonkits 0
I saw a British guy eating Pringles on youtube once. That is my argument.
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Comments (97)
monkey_boy984 0
BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!! fuggin epic I tell you!!!! EPIC!!!!!
PinkDahlia 0
Hahahahahahhahah oh my gosh, that made my day. He loves chips more than his own father!! In the near future, that kids gonna get chubby and blame it on you because you didn't hug him enough and all he could do to ease the pain was eat chips.
Dakata 0
Feed him some carrots.
fattu4554 2
Can you blame him?
3ripledose 0
mums sure like to come to fml
michybaby7 0
don't take what your son did personal. I'd give all the chips in the world so my mom could hug me more. and I'm 16. so don't worrie.
IWABO2_ 0
Obesity is not good
nickalamb 4
Nevermind.
ranger159 6
were you watching him sleep ? O.o
Bambi84_fml 1
People are so mean, hiding behind technology. Obviously most of the haters don't have kids, because it is an FML when you think your little one is about to give you some serious cuddles, and it turns out they were psyching you out just to get something else! And as far as giving your toddler chips, that's fine as long as it's in moderation. People shouldn't be so mean.