Today, when my son woke up from his nap, he sleepily reached up. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and he immediately pushed me away. He wasn't reaching for me, he was reaching for the bag of chips on the table next to me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I leaned down to pick up my infant son from his highchair. He reached up and grabbed the first thing available to him: my nipple. I got purple-nurpled by my baby. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 10
Om nom nom chips > Women fo real
thewonkits 0
I saw a British guy eating Pringles on youtube once. That is my argument.
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Comments (97)
hannah_elizabeth_fml 7
whats ur point? hes hungry. get over it
Noxic 0
Childhood obesity? lol.
skrotty 0
you tried to hug your son, what did you expect,
Sakke 4
If he is so little that you can carry him, he should be eating chips. Grow up and be responsible and stop crying over things like this.
i_is_a_tr00l 0
You should have taken his chips away. "Give your mother a damned hug before I throw them all on the floor and make you lick them." Respect and Love. Ahh. Teach 'em young. :)
daniphantom911 0
Lol XP that's amazing. My mom did that, and I turned out ok, lol.
Nolanor 0
Point proven.
shamille 5
ooer... chips for breakfast. I see obesity in his future.
aback 4
He shouldn't be grazing on junkfood at will. He's going to be a little lard ball, if he isn't already.
plexico 3
You'd think a 38-year-old loser living in his mom's basement would show a little gratitude to the woman who enables him to play Call of Duty all day instead of getting a job. Then again, she is to blame for his warped sexuality where his most meaningful relationship is whacking off when The Teletubbies are on.
Intoxicunt 5
First it's The Wiggles, now The Teletubbies? Would you like me to look up psychiatrists in Texas for you? :P Also, if he was little enough for her to pick up, he probably needed the ******* chips! God, woman, feed your kid so he has the strength to play Call of Duty.
idrivefast 0
I'm pretty sure that if I have kids, I'll make sure they don't think chips are eatable till they are in their teens. Junk food for toddlers, how lovely.
shakemup 0
YDI for raising a fat child.