Today, when my son woke up from his nap, he sleepily reached up. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and he immediately pushed me away. He wasn't reaching for me, he was reaching for the bag of chips on the table next to me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I leaned down to pick up my infant son from his highchair. He reached up and grabbed the first thing available to him: my nipple. I got purple-nurpled by my baby. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 10
Om nom nom chips > Women fo real
thewonkits 0
I saw a British guy eating Pringles on youtube once. That is my argument.
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Comments (97)
sodahhhr 0
YDI for doing aerobics with your stuffed dead cat while doing a drive-by while eating cucumber pepper lays chips
derschadenfreude 5
lol 46 mmmmm, cucumber pepper lays. I hope those really exist
feminist19 0
get used to it you insecure loser. i'm sorry but this is not a fml
daniphantom911 0
I don't get why these people are so mean! That's horrible! =(
ragsy 7
So your baby is taking a nap and you are hovering over him, waiting for him to wake up so you can hug him. You sound like a hovercraft mom. Stop it.
TheTruth1428 0
I agree. You were probably hovering in which case YDI. Back off, kids rebel when you smother them or turn into crazy people when they actually get freedom as a result of your hovering.
tronner 0
You created the monster - now deal with it. I could understand if he reached for his bottle or if he asked for lunch or something like that. But, if you're the kind of mom that just leaves greasy chips for him to snack on whenever he so desires then you deserve every bit of crap you're getting on these boards.
MugenFML 0
again, I'll say it again. yet ANOTHER non-FML. people, even if it's a damn LIE please don't post unless it's a worthy FML. OP, FYL, badass unique FMLs FTW from now on!!!!!
dmmd8686 0
your son is going to be obese and it's your fault.
PrinceTwilight17 0
Oh I hope you don't go into an emotional breakdown and have suicidal thoughts because your son wanted some chips instead of you this time. Seriously grow up. There are peoples lives who are much worse and that's why I read FML. The FML's have sucked bad lately.
_pk_ 0
OMG, please. If you think that's worth a FML you'll be trying to kill yourself by the time he becomes a teenager. Freaking drama queens.
hollywoodbasher 0
I'm trying to figure out why there was a bag of chips so near to wear he was sleeping... where exactly does he take his naps? The kitchen?