Today, when my son woke up from his nap, he sleepily reached up. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and he immediately pushed me away. He wasn't reaching for me, he was reaching for the bag of chips on the table next to me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I leaned down to pick up my infant son from his highchair. He reached up and grabbed the first thing available to him: my nipple. I got purple-nurpled by my baby. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 10
Om nom nom chips > Women fo real
thewonkits 0
I saw a British guy eating Pringles on youtube once. That is my argument.
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Comments (97)
nafiul93 0
dude, shut the **** up. lol
tubesocks_ 0
What. The. Hell. What kid hasn't taken a bag of chips into the living room and watched tv while eating them? Eating some chips every now and then is no big deal. Who says it wasn't just a once in a blue moon thing? You don't know if he eats good things most of the time. I really hate when everyone on this site jumps to conclusions about the dumbest things. Gahh.
derPazerSchreck 0
Today, I had nothing better to do than bitch and moan about how someone let their kid eat some potato chips now and again. FML
littlegoldwoman 0
Sounds like a brat. You should prob teach him to be loving and respectful before he grows up and turns into a REAL ********.
TheTissurePaper 0
WoW, im sorry to break this to you, but if your son is any older then maybe 6 you have to stop mother ******* baby-ing him. Dont give him kissies or huggies or give himm nicknames, mothers that are all girly and attached to their child leads their boys to become total faggots. If your son is 10+ and hes still asking for hugs and kisses or your forcing him to give you hugs + kisses, then you need to hang yourself cause its doing your child no good
Leviyah 0
You reveal yourself as a complete and utter moron with your second sentence. You can not *make* a child gay....you idiot. Loving your child is what your job IS as a parent. It is what you are there for. You obviously have some sort of parental issues and I recommend therapy for you. OP: YDI Get the chips out of the house. If he is reaching for them as soon as his eyes open there is something WRONG.
Bambi84_fml 1
You are obviously not a parent, and if you are I feel really bad for your kid. I can't imagine not giving my daughter hugs and kisses. You need hugs and kisses...
blackcatcutie 0
That will lead to child obesity ahahaha sry that sux though
spillproof 0
Let me guess, your child is a fatty right?
n_london 0
boo ******* hoo. you melodramatic dumbass. don't keep the ******* chips by his bed. aaaah. why are all the fml's sucking so very hard lately? i'm so disappointed.
brutalsgrin 0
Srsly guys? Maybe he woke up because he was hungry and chips happened to be on the counter from her snacking on them. Whatthefuck is up with people being assholes on here. Grow the **** up.
congratz13 2
This really isn't that abnormal, and from the sound of it, he's just a little kid. Besides, it's not like you just got back from a trip or something. And no, it doesn't really seem like everything the kid eats is junk food. Eating chips occasionally =/= FUTURE CHILD OBESITY OMG OMG OMG!!!!