Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Forever alone
Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML
Self-confidence boost
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house, we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said, "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML
Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML
Shark Week
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
Top comments
knowitall 1
I hope you feel terrible. You sound like a positively awful person.
Trix_Disorder 20
Even if she wasn't in the room, who the **** says stuff like that? YDI.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (276)
Bumlove89 0
What you did was really rude and disrespectful. I hope she slapped you. Jerk
FlyMeToTheMoon 0
Thats what you get for being a bitch. I hope you got slapped.
AntiChrist7 0
i assume you are the donkey from shrek?
Vinatierri 0
While I agree that was horrible, let's not turn this into a "girls" thing 21 and 29. Seriously, women act like they're the only ones with feelings and us guys are just robots. ...That's kinda freakin' funny, but more if it had been in a movie. As far as real-life goes...pretty shitty of you man
xxyumtasticxx 0
lol funny but rude also. maybe you should think before speaking. it might do you some good.
jaren0 0
amen
Acerbitas 0
First of all, I assume you were trying to get laughs....well you failed. Miserably. Making fun of someone is a poor way to get laughs. Unless of course you're making fun of yourself or a good friend :)...even then, appearance is never something you laugh at. Maybe something stupid they did, but never appearance. Especially a girls. Secondly, you're just plain stupid. Thirdly, you're a jerk who has no feelings for the people around you. Fourthly, go die.
kphoffman 0
u have said that, and even if she wasn't in the room u shouldn't have said that. karmas a bitch and it will come back to a lot worse then having the girl just sitting next to you.
Broc 0
Is belittling others really the only way you can feel good about yourself?
Gawain_fml 0
LMAO, you're my new hero. Don't feel bad, all the posters outraged by your comment are probably Shrek's ugly spinster sisters.
JackFrost 0
I cannot tell you how much you deserve this. OP, you suck.