Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house, we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said, "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML
Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
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Top comments
knowitall 1
I hope you feel terrible. You sound like a positively awful person.
Trix_Disorder 20
Even if she wasn't in the room, who the **** says stuff like that? YDI.
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Comments (276)
SomethingWitty 0
Shrek? Really? You have the whole world of entertainment to draw your insults from and you choose Shrek? YDI purely because that's the best you could come up with.
skiiergirl1313 0
you asshole.
xxdani 0
"Today, I was watching a photo montage of a surfing trip I just went on with a bunch of people. When a picture of me surfing popped up, the first thing out of the guy sitting in front of me's mouth was 'I didn't know shrek could surf.' FML."
skiiergirl1313 0
26 are you ******* serious???? you're an asshole to i dont think you deserved it, ugly people shouldn't be photographed and shown to the public. they could've at least 'shopped her face and put like angelina jolie or a censor sign you're probably ugly
patrickhb 0
You went on a surfing trip. You then go to a meeting with the people from the surfing trip. What sort of ******* idiot are you that you didn't figure that she'd AT LEAST be in the room?!?
guitardedman 0
34, no im not serious. dont worry its ok. i just love being an asshole, you should try it, its a lot of fun
Claeric 0
You knew she was in the room and you knew people in the room knew her. The only reason you'd say something like that is to bring attention to yourself, while at the same time making people focus on others sot hey don't notice your apparently enormous flaws. You're the worst kind of person, and I hope someone decides to kick the shit out of you some day for a comment like that.
maxson_fml 0
22, that was brilliant :P
bedwarmer25 0
why would you yell something like that in the first place? obnoxious.
pencilmustache 0
that's a really lame attempt to get laughs. you deserve it.