Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house, we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said, "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML
Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
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Top comments
knowitall 1
I hope you feel terrible. You sound like a positively awful person.
Trix_Disorder 20
Even if she wasn't in the room, who the **** says stuff like that? YDI.
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Comments (276)
SweetSoldier 0
Hahhhaa omg next tym pay attention or u will get fine :P
tiltwrestler 0
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA That's some funny stuff! I'm just imagining it being one of those horror movies, where it zooms in on your eyes slowly looking to the right, and seeing this giant, 7 foot, nasty, drooling, highly offended, PMS-laden girl hahahahaha
ballerphilip23 0
haha where was "donkey"? XD
MeleMallory 0
OP is Donkey. Or Lord Farquaad. (OP is probably a tiny, tiny man with a tiny, tiny penis. There's no other excuse for wanting to say something like what he said.)
varsityme 4
Yeah it's the OP
APit 0
HAHHAHAHA #12 makes this post a lot funnier
rushquickfast 0
Haha, u deserved that one! Hopefully she didn't pummel you... lol
google_fml 3
That sucks.
fletcherfashion 0
#3!!! And you really need to learn some ******* TACT!
EffYoLife 14
thats hilarious!
ewah 0
what kind of person are you? you suck
tnf0920 9
I didn't know 8 year olds were allowed on surfing trips?