Love: Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I...

By DutchOven - 04/07/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 388

You deserved it 25 950

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Sarah - 26/03/2012 11:14 - United States

Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 848

You deserved it 6 564

Nervous?

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 14:16 - Denmark - Nørresundby

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 718

You deserved it 5 135

Classy

By 1234 - 11/07/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 574

You deserved it 10 438

By flipflop - 07/06/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 307

You deserved it 7 438

By Anonymous - 03/09/2015 01:33 - United States - Hayward

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 759

You deserved it 1 749

By anonymous - 14/03/2012 05:18 - Canada

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 054

You deserved it 14 170

By fun - 16/06/2013 04:54 - United States

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 022

You deserved it 4 582

By Zoey - 09/02/2012 15:17 - Canada

Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 838

You deserved it 6 184

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 346

You deserved it 2 812

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 955

You deserved it 6 829

Kizatt 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:41

That is like one of the funniest FMLs I've ever read

dandymidori 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:39

This is hilariously disturbing! Did everyone realize that you did that?

Comments

myuselestwocents 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 4:08

Awesome.. Farting is totally a natural part of daily life... So is humour, and laughter I think OP, you're a winner! :)

LetItRock2009 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 4:27

Oh. My God. I literally laughed for ten minutes over this. Freaking hysterical. Heres to a good marriage!

shnibz101 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 4:33

WTF us is dutch ovened?

gregthestrange 3

Sunday 5 July 2009 4:39

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=dutch+oven

spillproof 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 5:32

omg, I LOVE YOU

FPsLife 5

Sunday 5 July 2009 4:39

He'd better learn to handle a lot more than that over the years :/

SVelasquez 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 4:52

Well then, uh, there's something called "holding it in," isn't there? Or was the urge that damn powerful?

GoodpointAllen 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 8:40

Let me explain this in poetic terms; I was at my wedding, Anxiously awaiting my bedding, When started the garter, My evil urge, to it I could not barter, And a great wind I had to send, From my accursed, ever-begging bend, This urge, I could not escape, Heed me now; next time, I will use tape! >;)

MADISAYSYDI 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 4:58

Aww fourth of july wedding and haha, this is so hilarious!

Colby_Colbert 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 5:00

i bet when the fart mixed w/your pussy stench it made it 10 x's worse you disgusting pig

notFUNNYtoMEass 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 9:26

wow... aren't you classy

lastminuteperm 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 5:16

Don't be so hard on yourself. At least you have a good story to tell. :) The bad memories make the best ones. :) :) :)

greeneye_fml 12

Sunday 5 July 2009 5:26

FYL and FHL. That sucks. And its a safe bet it was caught on film since the garter dance is one of the best parts to film during a wedding. I'll keep an eye out for this vid on youtube or AFV.