By Rover - 11/07/2016 19:03

Spicy
Today, unfortunately, my new husband's idea of foreplay is to tap me on the shoulder and tell me to roll over. I saved myself for marriage for this? FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 577
You deserved it 3 324

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You know you can still say no, right? Just because you're married doesn't mean you're forced to have sex every time he wants to. If you aren't feeling it say no. If you want him to put some effort in tell him so.

If he saved himself for marriage too and you're the kind of people who have a moral issue with things like porn, masturbation, sex ed etc., he might simply not know any better. Sit him down, tell him that women generally don't come as quickly and easily as men and that we usually need some work before the actual sex can happen. Good luck.

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You know you can still say no, right? Just because you're married doesn't mean you're forced to have sex every time he wants to. If you aren't feeling it say no. If you want him to put some effort in tell him so.

sohigh10 34

I'm pretty sure it isn't the problem of not wanting sex, but more that he could put a little more effort into wooing her.

she doesn't say she agreed.

Isn't it obvious. He wants to do it doggy style.

Talk with him, tell him it needs more work than that. 1. I assume you can talk to him about anything, since you married him. 2. I assume he cares about your desires, since he married you. (And you CAN say no.)

Relationships thrive on communication. Let him know how you're feeling and that you want more that just a tap on the shoulder.

If he saved himself for marriage too and you're the kind of people who have a moral issue with things like porn, masturbation, sex ed etc., he might simply not know any better. Sit him down, tell him that women generally don't come as quickly and easily as men and that we usually need some work before the actual sex can happen. Good luck.

Exactly. How can people save themselves and honestly expect their partner to know what they're doing? They probably both have no experience and aren't communicating.

Oh please. By this logic every virgin is an inconsiderate jerk the first time they have sex.

Sorry but... YDI. You really should have at least talked about sex (even if you waited) to make sure you were compatible before you went through with the wedding. Now you need to have one or more very serious conversations... Hopefully this won't end in divorce. Good luck.

How could they talk about being comparable if they didn't even know their own sex habits? If they both were virgins, neither might not have known how they want sex, how often, what a partner can do to turn them on, or how to spice things up. How can you talk about something you don't know? You're being unnecessarily harsh. This is an issue with saving ones self for marriage (and why I don't agree with it but to each his/her own)--one doesn't know enough to break it down for their partner before marriage. Instead, what the OP should be doing is sitting her husband down and telling him she needs more than just a tap on the shoulder, he needs to put in more effort, and go from there. Theoretically, this is very fixable.

You can talk about what you think you would like. I waited for a serious relationship. But I had still watched porn, and still got turned on. You can have the conversation, hey I saw this in a movie, I think I might like it if we try it. OP needs to tell him what she wants him to do. And if she hasn't experimented with herself, she should, and figure out what she actually likes.

I love hitting it from the back, but if that's not crude, I don't know what is! I don't care what people say, but waiting until marriage ends up being a disaster more often than not.

That's how I understood it at first too, but don't you tap someone on the shoulder because they're looking in the other direction? I think it's turning around to face him actually. Still not foreplay though, obviously.

Obviously he wants her to roll onto her back. They call it the missionary position for a reason.

That makes perfect sense as well, 11

I assumed OP's new hubby liked hitting it from the back too. Mostly because of OP's username. :D

You can say no, you should bring it up and tell him you want to work on your sexlife because you're not enjoying your current one. Sex should be good for the both of you!

Communication is key- tell him how u feel& what you want

YDI for marrying when obviously inexperienced and then expecting him to know what he's doing. Talk to him and explain what you need/want.