Today, unfortunately, my new husband's idea of foreplay is to tap me on the shoulder and tell me to roll over. I saved myself for marriage for this? FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello?" This is his idea of foreplay. FML
Today, my husband came home, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Furious, I shrieked to be put down and demanded an explanation. He said, "I thought you wanted us to be more spontaneous…" Apparently, that means he should treat me like a sex toy. FML
Today, my husband is so bad at foreplay that when he remembers to try and turn me on, he digs around really hard like he's scratching a bug bite. Last time, his nail sliced my clitoris. FML
Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
Today, I realized that my fiancé only touches me when he wants to have sex. Any other contact is purely accidental. FML
Today, my husband was trying to be sexy, and asked me if I wanted to sit on his "Belly Finger". Major mood kill. FML
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
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Top comments
FarFromHome_fml 17
You know you can still say no, right? Just because you're married doesn't mean you're forced to have sex every time he wants to. If you aren't feeling it say no. If you want him to put some effort in tell him so.
askullnamedbilly 33
If he saved himself for marriage too and you're the kind of people who have a moral issue with things like ****, masturbation, sex ed etc., he might simply not know any better. Sit him down, tell him that women generally don't come as quickly and easily as men and that we usually need some work before the actual sex can happen. Good luck.
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Comments (53)
Chelgleek 7
All the people bashing the idea of waiting till marriage needs to keep their negative opinions to themselves. It's personal preference. "Try it before you buy it"? That's what dating is for, and you don't have to have sex to do that. There can be passion and sex drive without actually having sex. And if you'd break up with someone because you think you're not sexually comparable, then you're not in love in the first place. Sure, getting sex down with everything each person likes takes practice, but I'm not going to practice with someone to get it down if I'm not going to be with them forever. My husband and I were both virgins and we waited till marriage, and it was an awesome decision. So what if it wasn't perfect at first? So what if we had to communicate about situation like this woman's? If that's the biggest problem we have I'll take it. We have nothing to compare it to so it's great, no accident pregnancies outside of marriage, no worrying about STDs, and LEARNING together, with the love of your life is a beautiful beautiful thing. And knowing that you both saved that gift for each other is so beautiful and comforting. I would be so sad if I had given that gift to someone I was only with for a little bit. You guys should be proud of her for having morals instead of having sex with a bunch of different guys, not telling her she deserves this. It's not like he beat her. As many of the comments said, all she's gotta do is talk to him about it and then it will be fixed. Just like any other problem in a marriage. Just because you wait until marriage doesn't mean you're destined for a horrible sex life.
randybryant799 21
Maybe you should talk to him instead of complaining on here. Communication is key.