Today, two months after moving up to Scotland to be with my fiancé,... - FML

By shunned - 3/11/2010 13:13 - United Kingdom

Today, two months after moving up to Scotland to be with my fiancé, he broke up with me because he 'didn't love me anymore and hadn't for a long time.' Shame he didn't tell me that when he was saying 'I love you, I want to marry you', having sex with me, and using my savings for a deposit on a flat. FML

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Rock, hard place

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

Tense

By me - 8/9/2012 22:39 - United States

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

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By emancipate my ass - 24/7/2016 04:02

Today, I had to listen from the next room as my dad cheated on his girlfriend with his married boss. He's 57, looks like a troll, and doesn't smell much better than one either. Meanwhile I'm 24 and couldn't get laid, much less get a date, if my life depended on it. FML

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By Umidknickname - 17/6/2017 16:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going away for the weekend to go clubbing with his mates. I would be fine with it, except the mates he's going with already tried to get him to cheat on me. FML

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By PictureLess - 10/1/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I got home from a family trip to Disney World. I had taken nearly 300 photos of our trip on my new digital camera. As our car pulled into the driveway, I was using my camera to try to delete one unflattering shot of me. I accidentally deleted every picture off the memory card. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/10/2009 22:35 - United States

Today, I went to my academic counselor to help me deal with my stress and anxiety, which has been making me nauseous from the constant strain. She suggested exercise to help these feelings. Every time I do so, I vomit. From the anxiety and stress. FML

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By Jon - 2/4/2011 16:44 - United States

Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/6/2018 01:30

Today, the only parking spot available at the supermarket had some shopping carts in it, so I got out of my car and moved them. As soon as I finished, a lady stole the spot. When I confronted her, she maced me with pepper spray and walked off. FML

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By yacoob - 24/1/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, I figured out that my baby-powder container can be closed by twisting the cap. I just got back from a long trip. My suitcase used to be black. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/4/2013 18:14 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was playing Draw Something with my girlfriend, when I decided to start a game with some other people. She immediately accused me of "cheating" on her, and still refuses to talk to me. FML

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By Confused Clipboard - 19/10/2016 14:41 - United States

Today, my math teacher explained his concern for how "clipboard" should be pronounced similar to "cupboard." I thought he was crazy. I then later found myself saying it the new way to my mother. FML

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By sociallyanxiousroomie - 19/4/2016 10:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML

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By publicenemy - 15/9/2009 12:16 - United States

Today, I was first in line at a stoplight. After five minutes, with a line of cars behind me, the light was still red. People behind me started honking, so I decided to just go. Halfway across the way, I was greeted by a camera flash. Nobody else went. FML

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By Bear - 1/2/2009 17:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML

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By First Kiss - 7/12/2012 12:39 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

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By Noname - 3/2/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

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By mermaidkeels - 18/6/2016 08:51 - United States

Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML

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By The Corner Of Death - 12/8/2013 08:17 - United States - Spring

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

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By bb - 3/10/2012 16:19 - United States - Hillsborough

Today, after having tried for months to get a promotion at work, I finally had an interview for a higher position. Everything went great, and I was told I would get a call next week for my second interview. I went back to my desk, only to get an email stating they're canceling the position. FML

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By Sunshine56 - 10/11/2016 03:11 - United States - Greenbrier

Today, I sold cigarettes to a woman who promptly told me that she smoked meth. It's only my second night working this job. FML

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By Busted - 31/12/2010 20:52 - Mexico

Today, I canceled my ATM card, because it had been lost. Then I found it. Then I found out I can't reactivate it, because I asked for a replacement card. I'm from CA, and I'm in Mexico with only 20 bucks. FML

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By The Bearded Woman - 29/5/2012 04:06 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML

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By StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing - 14/10/2015 16:22 - United States - Radcliff

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

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By wabbyfish - 14/3/2014 03:36 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/3/2014 06:39 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

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By Deadendjob - 22/5/2017 02:00

Today, my dad refused to sign a student finance form to allow me to study my dream subject at university because he doesn't want the government knowing his business. FML

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By erptwerp - 8/3/2016 04:47 - United States

Today, it's my 25th birthday and all of the friends who promised they could come had excuses why they couldn't make it. Now I'm at the bar, alone. FML

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By skatergrrrl - 15/2/2010 18:40 - United States

Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML

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By insideout - 10/5/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, I told my parents that I was going out with my boyfriend and they agreed to let me go as long as I was home by midnight. Did I come home on time? Yes. Was my shirt right side out? No. FML

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By AwesomePGnarles - 13/2/2009 08:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML

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By - 7/12/2018 16:00 - United States - Zephyrhills

Today, my mom wanted me to pick up my cousin from work immediately. I'm in my shirt and underwear with no other clothes and I'm also too young to drive. She said "He won't mind, and just take my drivers license, they'll never know!" FML

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By walnutbladder - 7/1/2011 21:46 - United States

Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have less than a minute to find a toilet or I'll pee my pants. FML

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By BeboKhaos - 4/8/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

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By shouldveknown - 27/1/2011 20:15 - Canada

Today, I found out that the money my boyfriend has "secretly" been putting away for the last two months is not for an engagement ring like I'd thought, but for a trip to Vegas I'm not invited to. FML

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By MissBeEyeTeeSeeH - 8/11/2009 11:46 - Canada

Today, It was pretty nice out, so I decided to walk to work. Not twenty minutes after leaving, it started to pour. I was soaking when I got there and had to change. My boyfriend works next door, so I asked him if he could give me a ride. His reply? "Sorry Babe, I just can't be seen with you like that." FML

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By Anonymous - 16/3/2019 16:00

Today, my wife who knows I am attracted to women with long hair -just like 95% of men-, instead of growing her hair long, she said she is going to stop being friends with any women who have long hair because she does not want me to be attracted to them. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/2/2019 18:00

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? My boss didn't like that my manager and I are friends outside of work, and he thinks we are sleeping together. She's gay and I live with my boyfriend of 5 years. He blamed it on me wearing the wrong shoes 3 weeks ago. FML

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By disappointed - 23/7/2012 01:05

Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/8/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

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By Alaska fire - 19/11/2016 22:14 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I was the only sober person at a bonfire. After being hit in the eye with a snowball, taking people's keys away because they were too wasted to drive, making sure no one died and stabbing the bottom of my foot with a nail, I got to sleep in the snow. Without any blankets. FML

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By bananaman - 11/4/2011 20:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I've been on the same train for two hours at a standstill due to "signal problems". We can't get off because it's "unsafe". I'm on my way home from work and I can see my house through the window. FML

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Top comments

By Graawr | 7

#1645324 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:06

what a dick. =| ruin his freaking life. D:<

By itsbutagame | 0

#1645296 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:01

bad times for you..

COMMENTS

By itsbutagame | 0

#1645296 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:01

bad times for you..

Reply

KingDingALing | 9

#1645687 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 20:19

Bad? More like horrible...
He used her. I don't think someone can do anything worse then what he did.

Reply

GigglePony | 13

#1646021 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 21:47

YDI for being with a Scotsman.

Reply

0930charlotte | 2

#1646290 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 22:58

mature.

Reply

KiwiExchange | 16

#1646317 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 23:10

what a dick move.

Reply

spencerfrank | 0

#1646563 - Thursday 4 November 2010 0:19

lol

Reply

TheMegaFridge | 0

#1646596 - Thursday 4 November 2010 0:23

37 I'm Scottish :(

Reply

TheRealFamilyGuy | 5

#1647183 - Thursday 4 November 2010 3:00

thats when you tell our boyfriendthat he may take your life, but he'll never take... YOUR FREEDOM!!!!

Reply

melkell | 0

#1648618 - Thursday 4 November 2010 7:05

53= win!

By icuddy69 | 0

#1645310 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:03

haha Finally I get First!! haha Suck it OP! YDI!!

Reply

Phustercluck | 11

#1645333 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:07

better luck next time :/

Reply

itsbutagame | 0

#1645524 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:44

fail..
sux2bu

Reply

victimization | 0

#1645848 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 21:07

that's the thing about these here Fmls...you either get it right or look entirely stupid when you post something. :)

Reply

breenarae25 | 0

#1646736 - Thursday 4 November 2010 0:53

fail

Reply

Currentlyonfire | 4

#1648211 - Thursday 4 November 2010 5:49

better luck next time number too. at least your not gay though.

By FieldTripX1013 | 0

#1645313 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:04

hey, enoy the view while you're here. sorry bout all the rain lately.

By Graawr | 7

#1645324 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:06

what a dick. =| ruin his freaking life. D:<

By AssDan | 0

#1645342 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:08

At least you know what you are good for now.

By chantey | 0

#1645353 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:09

haha. what a jerk. fyl, you idieut.

Reply

ladybuuggy | 0

#1646018 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 21:47

You're the **idiot

By sc95060sc | 0

#1645367 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:11

Can we maybe get some new and original posts? I'm pretty sure I've read about a billion posts almost identical to this one. Too predictable.

By Cinn_fml | 22

#1645369 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:11

That guy sounds like a jerk, hopefully you can get your savings back and walk away counting it as a blessing.

By JUST_STFU_N_GTFO | 0

#1645378 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:11

You are too gullible OP. :]

By nikkired | 0

#1645397 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:15

YDI for letting yourself be used like that, how could you not see it coming?

Reply

theporkchop | 0

#1648357 - Thursday 4 November 2010 6:18

omg ur hot whew