Love: Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought... - FML

By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 3 011

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Same thing different taste

By thecarisfine - 14/03/2015 04:27 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 895

You deserved it 8 340

By Whyme - 09/01/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 283

You deserved it 6 490

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 685

You deserved it 1 018

By fart - 27/11/2014 15:13 - United States - Houghton Lake

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 113

You deserved it 7 279

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 581

Great date, thanks!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 18:50 - United States

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 974

You deserved it 83 971

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 499

You deserved it 10 826

By Anonymous - 03/09/2015 01:33 - United States - Hayward

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 757

You deserved it 1 749

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 823

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 036

You deserved it 1 735

Next

Top comments

sallen0046 4

Saturday 13 November 2010 16:19

So what? People fart. If your date was that bothered by a natural body function, you need to find someone more grown up to go out with.

DrDoofenshmirtz 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 15:18

Waiter: ... *farts* Boyfriend: WHY DID YOU DO THAT, (Girlfriend's name) Girlfriend: IT WASN'T ME IT WAS THE DAMN WAITER! Boyfriend: DON'T BLAME THE WAITER! That's it, this date is over. *leaves* Waiter: ... sucker.

Comments

DrDoofenshmirtz 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 15:18

Waiter: ... *farts* Boyfriend: WHY DID YOU DO THAT, (Girlfriend's name) Girlfriend: IT WASN'T ME IT WAS THE DAMN WAITER! Boyfriend: DON'T BLAME THE WAITER! That's it, this date is over. *leaves* Waiter: ... sucker.

ipwnlosers 4

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:36

OMG PERRY the platypus!! <3

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 14 November 2010 0:09

That's perrys "after" picture. His "before" picture is what the dog is grabbing in #22's profile picture.

sammyderose123 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 15:19

lamo #21 that's hilarious. OP, trust me, its not a big deal even if you did the farting. If one fart is enough for him not to call for date #2, then he wasn't worth it. I would have laughed through the embarassment. Sorry, I don't see the FML. F Your Date maybe

jose1760 1

Saturday 13 November 2010 15:52

Was it wet?

sallen0046 4

Saturday 13 November 2010 16:19

So what? People fart. If your date was that bothered by a natural body function, you need to find someone more grown up to go out with.

xkittykatx 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 16:33

this made me giggle xD

kristineszLIFE 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 17:11

Probably was you

cdatribe23 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 17:36

no need to be ashamed!! we all kno it was u....u little devil u lol

Jewelofagal 2

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:28

According to the book "Waiter Rant", that's an evil technique used by waiters when one party at a table is being a jerk.

skyeyez9 24

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:50

I hope you didn't tip the waiter.

Judus_beej 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:51

lol that's what you get for not tipping last time.

Keywords

Awkward Love Relatable Students Work Racism Relationship advice Health Cheating Pregnancy Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Sexism Kids Parenting Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 179

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 966

You deserved it 931

The Top

Today, I got a call from the ICU. Apparently, my boyfriend has been there for 3 days and I'm the only person who didn't know. Even my parents have been to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 179

You deserved it 5 388

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 587

You deserved it 4 048

Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 447

You deserved it 3 855

Today, I received a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with my parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I'd entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 174

You deserved it 6 261

Today, I bought an expensive, heat-resistant double-sided tape to attach my dashcam to the windshield. It didn't last five hours, but has stuck nicely to the floor mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 165

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 761

You deserved it 8 438