Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded, "It's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML
Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML
Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
One man and his lawn
Today, my husband, who rarely helps with big projects around the house, offered to help me with our mess of a backyard. An hour and a half into the project, and an hour and a half after he disappeared from the backyard, I found him mowing and edging the front. Our front yard was immaculate and didn't need mowed. FML
Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML
Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML
Top comments
rldostie 19
While I have nothing against shaving, and do so myself, I DO have a problem with men who expect or demand it. Really? Do you guys know how much of a hassle it is or what happens if you don't maintain it? A girl should only do it if she wants to. I wonder how guys would feel if all women expected and demanded they shave down south as well.
dynky 3
what a complete asshole! don't get into shaving, you'll regret it once the skin gets all dry and irritated, and oh god the ITCHING when it starts growing back. Get a guy who has more respect for you.
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Comments (78)
Kr3tS22 0
seriously.... I hate it wen girls don't shave there shit... it's ******* gross.... no one can tell me a thing, I shave and I'm packin, so wutttup? lmao
dynky 3
what a complete asshole! don't get into shaving, you'll regret it once the skin gets all dry and irritated, and oh god the ITCHING when it starts growing back. Get a guy who has more respect for you.
taycandy96 2
Thank you...I had an ingrown hair from shaving...down there.
1030love 10
ive shaved for 4 years now and i never itch anymore. that only happens the first few times. as far as the dry skin goes, you should moisturize just like the rest of your body so you dont feel like a leather couch when youre 60. gynecologists are now recommending shaving because pubes harbor bacteria that can cause vaginal infections. so ladies, clean that shit up. if not for aesthetics, for your health
dynky 3
care to cite a source on that? because it's the exact opposite of every medical opinion i've heard. i call bullshit.
1030love 10
"The researchers admit that the presence of pubic hair does pose a challenge to their theory of hairless human evolution. The warm, humid environment provided by pubic hair provided an ideal breeding ground for parasites and bacteria." -WebMD
LolCandy 27
WebMD... Nice lack of context, since it refers to a time when showers and clothes didn't exist. It also states that pubic hair is important for pheremonal exchange.
tucansamTommyG 12
You must have the biggest bush know to mankind.
perdix 31
You got that right, Timmy.
jfletcher1224 0
so take his advice n move on with your life
gorgeousmami33 0
hahaha
brunnette_babe 0
whats so bad about ifu shave. how is it a 12 year old pussy, and how is it easoer with some hair? that just doesnt make sense to me
rockstatic 0
If a girl expects a guy to be putting his face down there, he has a right to expect it to be clean to his liking. Goes the other way too for boys who want blow jobs.
dynky 3
clean =/= hairless
ycubana 0
I agree, a lot of times guys expect girls to go down on them when they haven't trimmed since they hit puberty. Long tangles of pubes all up in our faces is not a turn on, return the favor please :)
italianosam 0
that's funny! shave yo muff guurl
ScaryyMary 14
Fur pie doesn't sell.
bookbee 2
May I suggest you landscape his ass with your foot?