Today, I had to supervise my 9 year-old nephew taking a shower, because he won't wash with soap or shampoo unless someone makes him. Instead, he blows three-inch-long green and brown boogers out of his nose that dangle from his nostril. He's disgusting and hasn't even hit puberty yet. This is future of the world. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom after my 9 year-old nephew. Apparently nobody taught him to lift the seat when he pees, or how to aim properly, because when I sat down, I sat in his pee. FML
Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
Today, my 8-year-old nephew told me he liked the way I smelt. Apparently I smell like "cat food and cheese." FML
Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML
Today, I taught my 18 month-old daughter to wipe the green, snotty mucus from under her nose with a tissue. To which, like a ninja, she then wiped my open-mouthed upper lip with that same snotty tissue. FML
Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Today, my creepy aunt watched me shower. FML
IHaveThePower 18
No, that's totally normal for some nine-year-olds. He'll grow out of it. You might try bubble bath to bribe him into bathing--some kids like baths more than showers (I was one, but I did in fact bathe).
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Today, my creepy aunt watched me shower. FML
IHaveThePower 18
No, that's totally normal for some nine-year-olds. He'll grow out of it. You might try bubble bath to bribe him into bathing--some kids like baths more than showers (I was one, but I did in fact bathe).
idragosani 17
Some people forgot what it's like to be 9 years old