Today, I tried an herbal tea that is supposed to increase your milk supply (I'm a breastfeeding mom). Well, it worked, and it kicked in at my office, but only on one side. So when I went into the bathroom, I noticed I had one boob WAY higher and bigger than the other. Great. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after struggling with breastfeeding and trying to build up my milk supply, I was finally able to pump a full 6 oz! I celebrated by immediately spilling it all over my lap. FML
Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
Today, after a 3-day induced delivery for my twins, and after getting stitches down there, I woke up to boobs that are the size of footballs, and still no milk coming out. The pain of chopping them off at this point would be more bearable. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML
Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML
Today, a woman started breastfeeding her infant in a restaurant. Disgusted, I told her to take it to the bathroom, as I was eating. In response, she squirted me with milk then went back to ignoring me. FML
Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I'd caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML
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Top comments
perfectwinds 0
Haha! The same thing happened to me, but someone else pointed it out before I noticed.
Bored_2_Death 0
You're an idiot. The H is silent and you use "an" when there is a vowel sound.
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Comments (108)
ladyme_fml 0
first!!! well... yes FYL indeed
ladyme_fml 0
I don't understand how this was moderated. It was "first! well.... F(uck) Y(our) L(ife) indeed. I mean there are SO many other comments on every other FMLs that are not respecting your rules, and your moderate those 3 letters... oh well.. it doesn't really matter I guess but yeah. Original Poster, listen, don't take those things just get the baby powdered milk or something, if you want to involve some hormones or chemical, I think that could be a best choice. Then again, I don't know much about that.
Sirin_fml 46
It was for calling first. The mere fact that others also blatantly abuse the commenting system is not grounds for you to also.
haha123321 0
shouldn't you moderate your comment now seeing as it is no longer relavent to anything like the post or the original comment. I feel this takes away from my experience on FML.
Sirin_fml 46
No, my job is to both moderate and inform, Mr. Smartass ;)
haha123321 0
sorry it was a joke. you're ok. :)
trizzieb 0
32) Win OP) That is so hot. I breast fead until I was 21.
Sirin_fml 46
I was joking too ;) ***GROUP HUG, PEOPLE, GROUP HUG***
tweetbaby14 18
so one was big and perky and the other was sad and saggy. that's actually pretty sad I'm sorry OP
ladyme_fml 0
lol thanks tho for answering I actually appreciate it. :)
ladyme_fml 0
but then again, calling first or anything in that sense isn't forbidden. At least I didn't read anything about that in the rules... Bah anyway, it's all good
Sirin_fml 46
Well, it incidentally falls under the out-of-context rule, but it's also one of the unwritten rules that we expect everyone to think about when posting :)
Ajjas013 6
I called last the other time and got moderated. It had to be done.
FarSide 22
@36: That explains why your big sister's nick name is "Droopy".
abcnonamecba 0
how do u become a moderater
trizzieb 0
50) you know the definition of relative humidity? it's when the sweat from your balls drips down your sisters ass crack.
linamerri 0
bahahahaha you have just won my friend
doink 0
Am I late for the group hug?
Ajjas013 6
*Hugs doink* Yes, yes you are.
indigodemigod 0
you need to fired for being bias and for brown nosing snickerdoodles. that, and nobody likes you.
rjhicks59 0
why can't I ever get here in time for one??? And btw, LAST!!! XD
rauj13 0
Fail.
tweetbaby14 18
wow sirin stop deleting my stuff it was completely relevant. I swear you're just doing this to bug people...
cgysoccerfreak 0
I'll help even them out
Sirin_fml 46
Tweetbaby14, I have messaged you on this issue. If you continue to persist in breaching the rules and whining about being moderated for it, you will be banned.
RachelTM 0
@Tweetbaby14: What Sirin said is correct. The decision has been made, and you are persistently ignoring the rules and being disrespectful towards the moderators and their enforcement of the rules. Please stop before we are forced to take further action.
Ajjas013 6
I'm guessing the group hug is over then :(
rjhicks59 0
No!!!!!
rjhicks59 0
Sirin and RachelTM are mean
tweetbaby14 18
that's ridiculous I haven't done anything.
Sirin_fml 46
The group hug is still on. Who's mean now? *holds a gun to Rjhicks' head*
tweetbaby14 18
and I can't recieve messages I'm using the app. if I had gotten anything I think I would've said something back. and RachelTM what do you mean by further action? because banning people's accounts doesn't do anything, I'm just letting you know.
Otto12 0
I am with the whole moderating thing, and find it annoying when someone says first. But, don't you think you are sortof taking away their right to free speech, but then again this is a French based website, but Im sure they have fair rights to. I respect the moderators a lot, but would like an honost response from you Sarin ;)
StoryOfTheYear 14
men hugging men is for gays, or really emotional moments, and this is not the latter :D jk
haha123321 0
the group hug will never be over!
Sirin_fml 46
@Otto12: Commenting is a privilege, not a right; the same goes for virtually any forum out there. People can say what they like, with some fair and reasonable restrictions, which they agree to abide by when they comment. Some people, though, think they can trample all over the rules, insult the moderators (who are here to make the place a tolerable one to visit), essentially say "what're you gonna do about it", and expect respect to be shown to them. Unfortunately for them, that's not how it works, and abusing the rights afforded to them results in moderation and if necessary, bans. Hopefully that answers your question :)
Dont_Explain 3
They are free to speak, all history of it is just removed later! :3 If they didn't moderate, you'd get clogged with redundant comments which waste space and time reading until you find the actual good comments. it may be 1 second but overall the user can make up his mind quicker than that, so good on them for tryig to improve the User Experiance. ^^
katmandont 0
@45, Where is mtl, canada? Are all the girls there as hot as you?
rjhicks59 0
why won't my comments go through?
rjhicks59 0
Youre a bitch, sirin
rjhicks59 0
**** you sirin
rjhicks59 0
Umm... oops
hawkloverr 0
you mean you were breast fed until you were 21?
skeleton_skinner 0
I so sorry!
ashlynn610 12
sucks for you!!!
imbatman_fml 0
Again, there's no applicable fml towards female breasts.
happyhak 5
This FML is a fail to punctuaion... "Today, I tried an herbal tea..." Last time I checked, you only use the word "an" when the next word begins with a vowel. OP, please do not attempt to teach your child punctuation...
Bored_2_Death 0
You're an idiot. The H is silent and you use "an" when there is a vowel sound.
Novogrod 0
"An" is the correct word to use in this case. Just like "An historic moment" or "an heirloom." But I digress, that sucks OP. On the other hand, that is also strangely hot.
Night22_fml 4
"An historic" doesn't count, because of the "h" in historic is not silent.
KurouTenshi 0
this is a win! see, when I get bored from sucking on one tit, I can switch to the bigger, more volumptious tit. and then when I get frustrated that I can't fit the monster in my mouth, I can move back to he mosquito bite.
Ajjas013 6
The real winners in life say, "**** the bigger/smaller tit!" And shoves them both in his mouth at the same time.
Lilcommentaddict 0
Haha ^^win
perfectwinds 0
Haha! The same thing happened to me, but someone else pointed it out before I noticed.
fudgenick 4
what's wrong wit dat, good for the husband ;)
youthink_fml 0
No herbal tea will make your **** bigger, especially to "kick in" in a matter of minutes or even hours. If it was possible, there would be NO itty bitty *******. I feel sorry for your kid, having a mom stupid enough to believe it would actually work.
Nena713 0
Please read the fml again. It's not a breast enhancement that makes you grow ****. It's suppose to increase the milk supply.
Ashurii328 0
#8.. Did you miss the "breastfeeding mom" and "to make more milk" parts? There are things like this for breastfeeding women. This isn't about just ANY woman... Jeez..
lisaaaar 0
about reread before making idiotic comments like that. think first!
epoh_fml 0
and I have to add that not just one breast made more milk. that breast was just more engorged at the time. lactating mama here :) and herbs can help with milk supply.
TahoeFMler 22
And how the hell did OP not FEEL the engorgement?!
FYLDeep 25
pics?
KurouTenshi 0
or it didn't happen...
michael419 0
agreed!
TripleJumpMan 0
haha this is like that joke Larry the cable guy said when he was talking about his sister or something like that how she won first and third in a wet t-shirt contest.
krisp007 0
??????
tamoomoo 0
#8, it's called Fenugreek, and it does make your breasts larger when you are already lactating. It increases milk production/supply, so that in turn increases your breast size. It's actually called engorgement.
Fedor_is_KING 0
Good for you OP, your man won't be bored with your **** now.