Today, the girl I like sent me a Facebook message telling me how the message I left on her phone was one of the funniest drunk dials she's ever gotten. I'm debating whether or not I should tell her that I don't drink. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML
Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML
Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML
Today, I received a drunken prank call from a girl I didn't know around 1am. I don't know what's sadder, that I carried out the conversation for 30 minutes, or that this was the first girl to call me in over a year. FML
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, the girl I like said she was out drinking with a friend. I'm pretty sure she has been lying about all the times she has "fallen asleep" and could not talk, and is actually seeing other people. FML
Today, slightly drunk from a head-frazzle of a night out from hell, I sent a text meant for my friend recounting the terrible date I'd just been on… to the date himself. He replied with, "I know, right?" FML
Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML
Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML
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Top comments
ks0300 0
that is ******* hilarious. You just made my day
Golden_massimo 0
just think how funny you are drunk
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Comments (103)
minax24 0
wow...
robert254x 0
lol funnay
justmyluck1212 0
Not drinking is something to be proud of, not ashamed.
birdman412 0
start drinking then. haha
joshH7 0
i say tell her you dont drink. don't lie to a girl u like u kno? thts what i do even though she's going out with someone else...
jdfml90 0
She probably already knows you weren't drunk. Just letting you down easier, putting it off in a way
Jamesssy 0
If you typed it out in good grammar, as I'm assuming you did (because your FML has good grammar and you would have cared about her enough for it) then it would be apparent that you was sober. She is either: A) Trying to let you down gently or B) She saw that you were clearly sober but isn't sure of herself enough to be entirely sure that you were. She's therefore probing to check that you were sober. If this is the case, she likes you enough that she doubts you'd go for her. My advice? Assume it's plan B. If you like her that much, it's worth the risk. And besides, you only live once!
Bathory_fml 0
While your advice is good, he didn't leave a text. The "message" from the "drunk dial" means it's a voice message.
Razikha 3
The good thing is you don't drink...
skyacls 0
Dont tell her the truth, lol. Just go with the drunk story, and go for it!
Quin_MP_1551 0
38 knows his shit...do that man you need to work on ur game with the ladies