Love: Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of...

By nottelling7012 - 29/08/2010 04:21 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of 'creative differences', as she put it. The real reason is that we couldn't decide which cupboard the plates should have gone in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 965

You deserved it 4 390

Love

Good kid

Late term

Need warmth

By ozozl - 07/11/2014 04:29 - United States - Evergreen

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 902

You deserved it 3 837

Long story short

By Anonymous - 18/06/2020 20:08

Today, after I'd been on and off with this girl for 6 years, I finally proposed in October 2018 and she'd said yes. A year later we got a house. By March, she is seeing another girl. And now, we still live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 574

You deserved it 416

By nevercatchabreak - 31/08/2013 08:16 - United States - Burgettstown

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 037

You deserved it 4 250

By singlesoon - 25/08/2009 04:26 - Canada

Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 665

You deserved it 7 114

Facebook science major

By Anonymous - 29/10/2021 20:00

Today, my mom yelled at me for still having a disability at the age of 30, because I should have "grown out of it by now." Then she blamed it on the fact that I got my COVID-19 vaccine. Autism isn't caused by vaccines and it's never going to go away, no matter how old I get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 83

By Alone - 28/12/2012 05:24 - United States

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 253

You deserved it 8 872

By DramaQueen - 19/07/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 801

You deserved it 62 658

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 05:31 - Canada

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 116

You deserved it 6 584

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 321

You deserved it 4 782

By nmaidkieavg - 25/01/2011 06:13

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 392

You deserved it 55 959

By UsedForSurgery - 28/10/2017 01:30

Today, after having surgery, I called my family to tell them I was out, safe, and on my way home. The first thing they asked was if they could "borrow" some of my pain meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 723

You deserved it 214

Painful

By rise - 08/05/2021 10:59

Today, I had a massive, pounding headache. I asked my mom for some painkillers and she said, "No. You don’t deserve pain relief. Ever. For anything." What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 57

By lanaoftherey - 02/06/2015 21:30 - United States

Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 022

You deserved it 15 912

By bride - 27/03/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133 794

You deserved it 10 255

By tuggernuts - 17/07/2012 15:32 - United States

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 205

You deserved it 43 834

By parched - 02/11/2009 17:30 - United States

Today, the city shut off the water at my house because my roommate thought that the water bills he had been hoarding were "suggestions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 711

You deserved it 3 254

By Oops - 23/05/2010 09:21 - Australia

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 168

You deserved it 29 887

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 743

You deserved it 6 375

By ohcrap - 02/08/2011 04:58 - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 409

You deserved it 16 073

By iloveyoutoomom - 08/06/2011 13:03 - France

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 872

You deserved it 3 489

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 10:57 - Singapore

Today, my co-worker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 659

You deserved it 2 714

By airhead2015 - 12/02/2014 17:57 - United States - Morristown

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 351

You deserved it 5 665

By Christine - 09/05/2009 06:08 - United States

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 954

You deserved it 51 123

By Dxxk Biter - 20/02/2018 06:00

Today, the first guy I tried to have sex with at university got his foreskin stuck in his zip and had to go to hospital for stitches. He told all his friends I did it on purpose with my teeth during a blowjob. I now have a reputation, so I guess I'm staying single for the next 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 054

You deserved it 673

By michelle - 05/02/2010 19:01 - France

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 291

You deserved it 2 797

By AccidentalToiletSpy - 21/08/2018 20:30

Today, in the bathroom at work, I heard two co-workers enter and begin a very private discussion. Not wanting to embarrass either of them, I figured I'd sit quietly until they left. Big mistake. They talked for an hour and a half. I couldn't feel my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 554

You deserved it 885

By angry - 22/06/2010 07:47 - Australia

Today, I went camping with my husband. We drove 11 hours to his favourite site before he remembered he didn't put the tent in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 422

You deserved it 5 930

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 982

You deserved it 7 159

By Anonymous - 14/02/2014 01:31 - United States

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 921

You deserved it 7 230

By Anonymous - 17/01/2010 00:46 - Canada

Today, I woke up at 2:30 AM. Thinking I was going to be late for my 3:30 AM flight, I rushed into the bathroom to shower. As I came out of the shower, I slipped and broke my arm. I then realized my flight is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 8 847

By kam3221 - 01/05/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 848

You deserved it 54 180

By Shoryugeki III - 07/08/2018 14:30

Today, on my way to work, I came across a road accident. I approached the victims and administered first aid, but when the paramedics arrived, they told the cops to take the "cosplayer" away. I'm the E.R. doctor of the nearby hospital. I later had to work with these S.O.B.s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 635

You deserved it 213

By Preggo - 10/12/2016 01:51

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 527

You deserved it 821

By coloneltushfinger - 12/06/2019 16:00

Today, I did the best at-home manicure I’ve ever had. I took my time and it looked like it was done professionally. As soon as I put on the top coat and waited for it to dry, my stomach rumbled and I had to run to take a dump. The polish smeared everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 334

By samikai523 - 18/04/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, my sister told me she didn’t want me in her wedding pictures because I looked fat in my bridesmaid's dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 622

You deserved it 7 904

Noooo, not him

By Jenni - 21/03/2021 23:01

Today, my mother arranged for me to meet the man she is planning to marry. Turns out, my future stepfather is also my creepy old boss, who spent 4 months hitting on me before I quit a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 57

By K3you - 04/07/2011 23:42 - United States

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 721

You deserved it 3 576

By awkward. - 29/12/2012 15:50 - United Kingdom - Rickmansworth

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 221

You deserved it 3 175

By Loot - 17/02/2009 00:26 - United States

Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 907

You deserved it 6 033

By goinginsane - 06/05/2011 07:25

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 721

You deserved it 7 142

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Top comments

FFML_314 11

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Sunday 29 August 2010 12:00

You should have tied her to the fridge and made her watch you put the plates in random cupboards.

wd0 1

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Sunday 29 August 2010 11:54

that's an important issue though

wd0 1

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Sunday 29 August 2010 11:54

that's an important issue though

Shookitup 0

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Sunday 29 August 2010 12:15

sucks.

bigredmonkeybutt 25

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Sunday 29 August 2010 12:25

YDI for not recognizing a lame excuse. She obviously just wanted rid of you. Move on.

mintcar 9

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Sunday 29 August 2010 13:01

1, it's a very important issue. Sometimes, you just can't make compromises.

iSitt 0

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Sunday 29 August 2010 14:59

it was a test to see if you would submit to her meekly.

I_have_no_clue 0

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Sunday 29 August 2010 15:08

Is this a metaphor for sex?

Griggy 0

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Sunday 29 August 2010 15:12

You shouldn't feel bad. If she's dumping you over cupboards you need to drop her ass like a stone.

iTaylor 0

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Sunday 29 August 2010 16:40

lol 26 and if cupboards broke you up, it wasn't meant to be

emmaleeislamee 0

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Sunday 29 August 2010 16:42

lmao @26 OP, she was probably just looking for a reason to dump you.

sheribb 5

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Sunday 29 August 2010 16:46

ur from Melbourne too awesome! seriously ur girl is lame breaking up over where to put the frigin plates!!!

noscope_ftw 0

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Sunday 29 August 2010 17:29

more like ydi for moving in after dating for only 6 months

legonut6 0

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Sunday 29 August 2010 17:32

I agree with @40.

twinny_sc 13

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Sunday 29 August 2010 17:34

YDI for moving in together after six months.

flotar 0

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Sunday 29 August 2010 20:12

Sounds like an important issue to me! I'm a divorce attorney, and I'll try to use that "creative differences" excuse to see what happens lol. sorry op.