Love: Today, the girl I'd been seeing for a few weeks lost her mind...

By Anonymous - Australia - Port Melbourne

Today, the girl I'd been seeing for a few weeks lost her mind and yanked my car's e-brake while we were on the highway. Why? Because I said I wasn't really interested in having kids. Guess I'll cross that relationship off as a "hell no". FML

I agree, your life sucks

14193

Phew, glad it wasn't me

2142

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Love

Our house, in the middle of our street

Serious times

Clean break

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45222

You deserved it

4617

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By IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed - Mauritius

Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33735

You deserved it

3514

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By Anonymous - 15/10/2020 07:04 - United Kingdom

Genius, definitely

Today, my boyfriend claims he found a way of spending time with my son without actually spending time with him. They play hide and seek, and for a long time as he shouts, “I’m gonna find you” every few minutes. The game can last over an hour while he watches TV without interruptions. Genius or asshole? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1221

You deserved it

215

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By Chris - United States

Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29567

You deserved it

4109

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By hey-ooo - United States

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friends when I suddenly passed out due to my hypoglycemia. When I woke up, I discovered that I was still in the same spot and my friends had abandoned me to go to class. Also, my stuff was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46711

You deserved it

2830

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By alicia75 - United States - Elkhart

Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39015

You deserved it

3540

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By anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36751

You deserved it

4487

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By dumbbb - United States

Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10244

You deserved it

45875

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By "smonds13"

Doggone It

Today, my 3-year-old pooped on the floor and blamed it on the dog. How do I know? We don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4598

You deserved it

419

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By Honestly - United Kingdom - Measham

Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5931

You deserved it

511

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By Bruja5 - United States

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29246

You deserved it

6103

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By Anonymous - United States - Newport

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23735

You deserved it

2149

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By Bg2466 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got a bad review on my work's Facebook page. The girl said I was very rude and I should never work with the public. I was trying to flirt with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9102

You deserved it

15570

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By Tbelle

Today, my brother texted me a picture of his "upcoming disconnect" notice for his utility bill and asked if I could loan him the money to pay it. All I could give him was a picture of my "disconnected" notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3459

You deserved it

418

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By Anonymous

Today, as I was at Starbucks writing a paper, a man came and sat next to me. He started staring at me, then I noticed his hands were down his pants. It was noticeable that he was masturbating, so I went to tell a worker. They just said, "He's a regular" and didn't do anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10602

You deserved it

680

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By Anonymous - Argentina

Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33501

You deserved it

3279

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By ifpigsflew - New Zealand

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29093

You deserved it

2761

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By Anonymous - Canada - Oakville

Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47495

You deserved it

15836

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By dogsickftl - United Kingdom

Today, I left my hammer outside after putting up my 'for sale' sign in front of my house. I realised and went outside to get it. The hammer had been used to smash my car window and steal stuff inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32493

You deserved it

7012

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By notwhatithought - Germany - Erlangen

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11202

You deserved it

33373

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By munnyfish - Canada

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13326

You deserved it

33473

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By asshole - United States

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40095

You deserved it

12358

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By BlueyedKat - United States - Huntsville

Today, I found out that the money I spent on a very specific degree was wasted, because apparently, I don't qualify for a job at the place that told me I had to have that degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20535

You deserved it

2033

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By Anonymous - France

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43452

You deserved it

4505

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By nomorexbox - United States

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

44950

You deserved it

13426

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By Anonymous

Today, my boyfriend saw me without make-up for the first time we've been dating for two years. He freaked because he didn't know who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1077

You deserved it

2536

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By chickety boom - United States - Austin

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43895

You deserved it

4280

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By SuperShy - United States - Massillon

Today, I realized just how shy and awkward I really am when I averted my eyes to avoid making eye contact with someone who turned out to be a cardboard cut-out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14181

You deserved it

2105

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By FUCK YOU - United States

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45350

You deserved it

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By Kml

Today, and like every year, my godmother sent me a card asking me why I never call her, and why we don't go out on my birthday. Six years ago, she told me on my birthday I was going to hell for moving with my boyfriend and then sprayed me with perfume. He is now my husband, and she claims she forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9356

You deserved it

687

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By eat my fucking ass, boss - Australia - Melbourne

Today, a customer threatened to come back later and shoot the whole place up. Why? I didn't give him a discount on his beer. My boss's reaction when I called the police: "Why didn't you give him the discount?!" Last week he bitched me out for letting a girl off for being a few cents short on hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45346

You deserved it

3257

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By Anonymous - United States - Topeka

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24371

You deserved it

1728

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By Just keep the pins - Sweden - Floda

Today, it's been 2 months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7995

You deserved it

839

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By SOMAgirl - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to put some streamers on my bike handles, even though I knew they would probably be stolen fairly quickly. I went into a restaurant to eat, and when I came out both my wheels were gone, but at least the streamers were still there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32183

You deserved it

9070

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By stubblebutt - Australia

Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46629

You deserved it

5965

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By hatesgravity - United States

Today, after finally getting up the nerve to take my motorcycle to up 75mph on the freeway, I made it off in one piece, only to fall off my bike in the mall parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14895

You deserved it

25539

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By Kin - United States

Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48064

You deserved it

3847

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By Ouch - United States

Today, I was walking down the hallway when someone opened a door, smashing it into me. The bump makes it look like I have a third boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27208

You deserved it

3924

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while playing badminton, I was so distracted by my ex winking at me that I didn't notice the shuttle cock that hit me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9680

You deserved it

21355

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I texted this girl that I really like. I got a message back saying "Your message to 903-***-**** could not go through due to a disconnection, thanks, Alltel services." I overheard her later at lunch saying she sent the message, and laughed with her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65661

You deserved it

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Top comments

By meatloaf11 | 23

#6626908 - Monday 13 June 2016 1:38

Time to pull the e-break on your relationship.

By bradleybaldwin | 9

#6626911 - Monday 13 June 2016 1:44

Bitch put both your lives in danger.

COMMENTS

By Shawn2095 | 18

#6626907 - Monday 13 June 2016 1:38

Dude. Run.

holyshmolly | 13

#6627168 - Monday 13 June 2016 10:04

Or ditch her and drive away!

By meatloaf11 | 23

#6626908 - Monday 13 June 2016 1:38

Time to pull the e-break on your relationship.

By bradleybaldwin | 9

#6626911 - Monday 13 June 2016 1:44

Bitch put both your lives in danger.

DoomedGemini | 37

#6626949 - Monday 13 June 2016 2:33

And others

crudeandrudeguy | 29

#6627045 - Monday 13 June 2016 5:29

Because he might not be interested in having kids... especially at this stage of the relationship. So what?!?! Nut job

By XSeraphinX | 18

#6626912 - Monday 13 June 2016 1:44

Clearly a huge red flag. Glad you're getting away from her.

By Teyros | 24

#6626914 - Monday 13 June 2016 1:46

Better get out before she gets a hold of your e brake.
(A for effort?)

SecundusSecunda | 27

#6626929 - Monday 13 June 2016 1:59

I rate it 5/7
Well done, #5

Teyros | 24

#6626936 - Monday 13 June 2016 2:14

Thanks bud. It's a life of approval from others.

withered | 30

#6627124 - Monday 13 June 2016 8:16

Stop trying to make 5/7 happen. It's not going to happen. Don't know why people were impressed by that bad excuse of a "trolling".

laden_swallow09 | 34

#6627250 - Monday 13 June 2016 13:23

I was tempted to post my confusion on what 5/7 is supposed to mean, but after some consulting with UrbanDictionary, it seems like 5/7 is indeed every bit as stupid as 32 says it is.

By iiTzNeeNerz | 26

#6626918 - Monday 13 June 2016 1:48

That's a quick way to put a stop to a relationship.

lilchica22001 | 22

#6627158 - Monday 13 June 2016 9:49

I see whatcha did there and I'm likin it!

AverageAvarice | 23

#6627783 - Tuesday 14 June 2016 6:58

Press the like button quietly please.

By tigerisabelle | 31

#6626920 - Monday 13 June 2016 1:51

Jeez, that escaladed quickly. That girl would have driven you crazy. It's obvious she's got no idea when to put on the brakes. Don't reverse your decision; push the pedal down and speed outta there. You auto know when to get out.

By emeraldarcher74 | 30

#6626927 - Monday 13 June 2016 1:57

Run fast, run hard.

By chosha_fml | 25

#6626930 - Monday 13 June 2016 2:00

Scary that psycho might being having kids with anyone.

By InfiniteSunshine | 32

#6626932 - Monday 13 June 2016 2:07

Oh you don't want to have kids, well let's just potentially kill us both then, cause that will solve everything. Seriously, what the hell goes through these types of peoples' minds?