Today, the girl I'd been seeing for a few weeks lost her mind and yanked my car's e-brake while we were on the highway. Why? Because I said I wasn't really interested in having kids. Guess I'll cross that relationship off as a "hell no". FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was cuddling with the girl I've been seeing for the past few months. She was saying how much she liked me and how much I meant to her. Reciprocating those feelings, I asked her to be my girlfriend. It was a HARD no for her. Then she drove me an hour and a half home. FML
Today, my girlfriend flipped out and dumped me. According to her, not stopping for a dog in the road makes me a sociopath and unsuitable for a relationship. Yes, because slamming on my brakes or swerving into the next lane while doing 75 on the highway and causing a wreck made so much more sense. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend's kid was acting silly and cutting up in a busy parking lot. I saw a car coming towards him and yanked him to my side. He started crying and my girlfriend screamed at me for "being mean" to him. I should have let the brat get hit, I guess. If this is the stepdad life, fuck it, I'm out. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML
Today, the person I was seeing asked to be just friends. A few hours later, they tried to talk me into having sex. FML
Today, I dumped my girlfriend because she frequently wouldn't answer my texts or phone calls, and not call or message back for days. I felt that bringing it up made me a control freak. I couldn't take it anymore. FML
Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML
Today, the man I thought I'd marry dumped me in a parking lot, because I insisted that any boys would be circumcised so my son wouldn't be confused. He literally said, "Circumcision is a deal breaker. Get out of my car." FML
Today, I proposed. She immediately said no and then broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
meatloaf11 23
Time to pull the e-break on your relationship.
bradleybaldwin 9
Bitch put both your lives in danger.
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Comments (54)
Unenunciable 14
Just to make it clear, this has nothing to do with blame, but a word of advice: Try to avoid serious conversations when driving. Driving is a process that requires concentration. Just as you shouldn't start driving when you're emotionally distraught, try to avoid conversations in the car that could lead to the passengers freaking out, or to you being so disturbed that your driving could suffer. There's a time and place for discussing life's big questions, and it's not behind the steering wheel. I've been in several near-accidents because the driver was enraged.
Cbnotme 20
I think you wasted a great opportunity to have her get out while the car was stopped and then gun it!
fatgummybear 13
Thats why you should buy a mercedes benz because most of them have the e brake on floor so you have to press it with your feet
ikeb 15
this is like something out of an Eminem song
DanielleinDC 34
Is she ******* demented? Sure I've had the contentious conversation in a car, but I would never do something to endanger my life, the driver's life, and the lives of other people on the road because I was pissed off. At least you found out what a nut this gal is so you can put the brakes on this relationship.
Sia_Will 13
Hell to the no.
mattyiscool123 26
This is why they're now putting e brakes next to the brake pedal
thatsjustgreat1 16
Wait till she has to use the bathroom in a service station and hit the road man
renrioku 15
Sounds to me like she doesn't need kids anyway. People that will risk their own or others lives like that, I can't imagine what they would do to kids.
iwantasoda 16
I don't understand some people... does everyone in the world really need to have kids? We're overpopulated enough as it is!