Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, tears and 3 hours on the toilet have made me reevaluate my desire for new culinary experiences. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Numbass123
Las Vegas, United States
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Mc'xplosive
McGastric
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
middleagednurse
Healthy lifestyle tips
Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML
sushi hater
United States
Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML
Anonymous
Houston, United States
Toilet training
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Vomitron
Let it all out
Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML
shroooms
Slovenia
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
sendhelp
Provo, United States
Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML
fuckmuppet
Oxford, United Kingdom
Enough with the puns
Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML
Top comments
james98e 15
Ah the legendary 'ring of fire'
jadeleepenguin 29
Did you try the Pu Pu Platter?
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Comments (40)
gintwinsmoore 20
Follow up needed: we gotta know what you ate so we can stay away from it!!!!
hannahpk 11
Wasn't Nandos by any chance? Recovering from food poisoning thanks to them
Overlord247 20
And my friends wonder why I refuse to go to Nando's :/
samlovesham1234 9
Oy vey. What did you eat?
Aero220 16
No more Taco Bell for you.
doge750 16
Gordon ramsy get to you?
Cyrus00 41
Stick to what you know!
AggieMike77 12
Having had to edure several weeks of English. food, I don't find that as odd. You food is so bland and drab that anything with any sort of spice would probably double you over.
jess_1193 13
I feel ya! I'm in the same place right now :(