keiran123
Welsh, United States
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
not twilight
Charlotte, United States
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Anonymous
Cabot, United States
Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
scarred for life
Brampton, Canada
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
Anonymous
Prague, Czech Republic
Gottem
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Anonymous
Morganville, United States
Rightly so
Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML
TheStudentNurse
Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML
notsogoodtrainee
Fargo, United States
First day
Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML
are these people even HUMAN?
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Bristol, United States
Tetchy
Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Top comments
theaaxis 27
That really 'sucks'!
mintymandy 11
Bite the little ****** back...
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Comments (89)
Myo_fml 20
For some reason, this reminds me of that one Scooby Doo movie where Shaggy's a werewolf and they race cars for Dracula.
metreman 19
scooby doo and the reluctant werewolf
Druu 53
That bites.
ruchiee 6
Bite at first sight.
GrinchFu1 27
Wait a few days and then show back up at his house dressed as a vampire pretending he turned you into one and bite his ass back!
VeganVampyre 27
No, no, his neck, not his ass. You've got it all backwards. There's no good veins in the ass, it's all muscle.
Thorzix 23
Both comments made me lulz xD
mariepastyglue 30
better than getting hit by a guy dressed as slender man freddy Krueger or Jason
buckdharma 38
Do you work for Dominu's Pizza? If so, it's nos fera tu send you out there without a stake sub. Those things are killer.
annamei 16
HAHA that sounds awesome
UnluckyGenius 21
Feel complimented OP, Dracula only takes the most attractive of servants.
TogeBara 12
1 call the police and bring him up for assault. 2 get yourself checked for any diseases he might have had 3 sue 4 be prepared to deal with that sort of crap often as a pizza dude. Also, don't be afraid to fight back.
MzZombicidal 36
Sue for what? A prank? No wonder everyone thinks America is sue-happy.
TogeBara 12
It may be a prank, but who knows what kind of sickness this person could have had. If it broke the skin, I'd sue. Do you know how much nastiness is in the human mouth? If you did you'd treat this more seriously. If it didn't break the skin, I'd probably get a picture with 'Dracula' for the fun of it. :) I'm treating this as though OP got actually BITTEN and it broke skin.
perdix 31
Did he look at the pizza and count, "One. One slice, . . ." up to "Eight slices!" and then count out your payment, "One. One dollar! . . ."?