Animals: Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel....

By not twilight - 05/12/2015 00:47 - United States - Charlotte

Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 463

You deserved it 1 642

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By TheStudentNurse - 18/11/2016 00:07

Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 827

You deserved it 609

Very bad idea

By Yoir mom - 16/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 515

Battery

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 05:00

Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 219

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 549

You deserved it 2 547

By keiran123 - 27/06/2013 23:15 - United States - Welsh

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 280

You deserved it 3 330

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 20:14 - United States - Columbia City

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 432

You deserved it 9 321

By ginya - 07/06/2016 01:58 - United States - Bedford

Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 468

You deserved it 1 081

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 760

You deserved it 10 999

By bitten - 15/05/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 076

You deserved it 2 787

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 3 812

theoldman 22

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:07

I would still get a rabies shot.

MRVOlivia2 15

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:06

I guess when you spend enough time with animals you pick up their behaviors.

Comments

MRVOlivia2 15

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:06

I guess when you spend enough time with animals you pick up their behaviors.

krazy789 28

Monday 7 December 2015 14:44

That plot twist though

ThirteenThirteen 27

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:06

So would you say their bite is worse than their bark?

NeatNit 32

Sunday 6 December 2015 8:42

Man, even dogs are taking our jobs now...

theoldman 22

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:07

I would still get a rabies shot.

topside3 11

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:10

Please tell me you had your rabies shot

paperroll880 16

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:10

I am trying to imagine a scenario where a new employee gets bit by their coworker -- nope can't think of anything

confusedAsFuck 34

Saturday 5 December 2015 23:39

He tried to pet him, maybe?! yeah.. too far fetched...

Auromo 14

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:15

My advice: get a rabie shot.

KhaleesiDannie 26

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:17

I advise a shock collar to keep that from happening again

Izzamee 17

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:17

I normally tell people on here not to worry and everything will be alright...but you should worry.

Mortoli 30

Sunday 6 December 2015 2:27

too true lol

whysojealous 18

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:18

Am I the only one who thought at first "why is his coworker a dog?"...Yeah...just me...-_-

rapunzel3416 28

Saturday 5 December 2015 20:27

Plot twist to the plot twist: the coworker really is a dog

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The Top

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 174

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 319

The Top

Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 177

You deserved it 41 244

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 552

You deserved it 23 367

Today, I found out I have another leak in my house. I've had three inspections and they were all shit. At this point, that pipe is the only remaining original pipe in the entire house. Over 25k have officially gone into this BS. Note to all: go "new." FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 119

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 891

You deserved it 9 068

Today, my girlfriend heard a great quote about not letting anyone drag her down. She took it to mean, "break up with your boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 961

You deserved it 3 629

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118 873

You deserved it 11 077

Same thing different taste

Very bad idea

Battery

Yucky!

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