keiran123
Welsh, United States
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
not twilight
Charlotte, United States
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Anonymous
Cabot, United States
Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
scarred for life
Brampton, Canada
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
Anonymous
Prague, Czech Republic
Gottem
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Anonymous
Morganville, United States
Rightly so
Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML
TheStudentNurse
Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML
notsogoodtrainee
Fargo, United States
First day
Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML
are these people even HUMAN?
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Bristol, United States
Tetchy
Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML
Top comments
theaaxis 27
That really 'sucks'!
mintymandy 11
Bite the little ****** back...
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Comments (89)
Futacy 30
Woah, you better get that checked out! Hurry before you fall in love with a plain-looking, disturbed teenaged girl... or hepatitis.
Cazz91 21
OP... That is still a better love story than Twilight. I think he may just be your long lost dark soulmate. Surprise him next time with a terrifying bite of your own or create rotting flesh effects for zombies. Warm bodies are allowed to love and be loved in return. :P
utlanning 9
All the bad things, such as being bitten and morbidly obese people in their underwear, shall be balanced by all the drunken party invites and the hotties.
rhapsodys 12
I guess he was craving for something else other than pizza
hilamonster06 21
Let me guess. He is 40 and still lives with his parents.
redbandit9877 12
If you start to crave human blood and start having a mental breakdown, that's ok, but if at any point you find yourself sparkling and wanting to seduce 17 year old high school girls, just end it.
xsilentxninjax 10
Haha that is funny. But that is really creepy, being bitten by some random creep-o guy.
worldclassrager 41
Is it Halloween already? He's pretty serious if you throw bite me at him..better than some devil pitch forking you....
nela25 23
At least we all know he won't order garlic on his pizza.
onorexveritas 24
let's hope you don't do the same now
NigWaffle 4
ydi. stop being so dang succulent!