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Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

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Jimboom 11

Tell her to keep the subscription as her wrinkled/dried up ass will have a tougher time finding someone who actually wants to hit that.... without a baseball bat that it.

z4opv14 0

Wow that sucks man, my condolences to you.

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Comments (88)

Doesuff 0

I wanna give you a bro hug. That sucks

Barashkov 0

Condolences about the divorce. Her birthday gift was immature, suggesting that you would need help finding a date. You need to find yourself a sexy-rebound to spite her! Haha, indeed, that is the much more mature response. However; I am upset with some of the other comments posted. "Tell her to keep the subscription as her wrinkled/dried up ass will have a tougher time finding someone who actually wants to hit that." This implies that it is easier for a 39yo man to get a date than a 39yo women. As a young woman, I would hate to think my value as a person declines because my body ages. Still, happy birthday.

thyestes 0

You know, when I first went into the movies Lionel Barrymore played my grandfather. Later he played my father and finally he played my husband. If he had lived I'm sure I would have played his mother. That's the way it is in Hollywood. The men get younger and the women get older. ~Lillian Gish Older men are viewed as attractive older women aren't and do all they can to look younger. Society is full on injustices, this is one of many despite the fact that we are led to believe that there is gender equality.

milli93 0

Tell her that you don't need it cuz her sister is right around the corner

cecilia_weasley 0

I feel bad for you. But you should try that subscription. :)

TheOrpheus 0

Sucks. FYL

amandabee 0

At least she gave you the subscription.. so it shows she still wants you to find someone.

Malika_fml 0

Oh man, that sucks. Take care and good luck :)

MrAbstinence69 0

Now your pants are one of a kind

dnm 0

No problem there. Wrap it up and bang everything that moves. Have a good time.

ohmygolly 0

#38 - "when i hear something like this i start to think that women are completely amoral creatures who delight in cruelty." Odd, you somehow managed to misspell "humans" as "women" in this sentence. Not really sure how you managed that. (Cynic? Me? Nah.) #41 - "I am suspicious of WHY she did this because women don't seek revenge without a semi-just cause." This is the most hilarious thing I've heard all morning. OP - What your ex-wife-to-be did is horrible and petty, but at least she decided that the marriage wasn't right and bailed while the two of you are still somewhat young (or maybe that should be somewhat not old), and not at 50 - 60. Good luck in your future relationships.