By rugener92 - 04/09/2014 23:22

Today, my younger sister ran into my room, telling me someone was trying to break in. We were home alone, so she went to hide as I took a crowbar and followed the intruder. Just as I was about to swing, he turned around: it was my dad. I had to explain to my sister that burglars don't have keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 737
You deserved it 3 053

rugener92 tells us more.

Hi guys, OP here... Didn't really expect this to get published, just a casual 'I could tell this story' thought. Basically I was remembering childhood stories and this is one of them (as so people asked how old my sister was) This was about 10 years ago now, my sister was 7 and I was 11. Recognising it was my dad was never the issue as he was wearing a hoodie! and it wasn't a crowbar, it was basically a pole with a hook on it, we use it to open the hatch for the loft/attic as no one can reach it (me and my dad are 6ft so it's pretty high up' My dads reaction was something along the lines of 'Oh 'ello son, what are you doing with that pole?' - nearly splatting your head, dad, you sneaky dick! and about other burglary and death exclamations my neighbourhood was lovely when I was young, but recently has gone way downhill and has suddenly become the attack, drunk and drug capital street of the town so would be more likely to get ACTUALLY robbed now. I've been bottled twice by the same person at the same event two years running next to my house when there were police there and as the police can't control this gang of about 40 they leave it... anyway! Hope this answered some burning questions and I intend to remember some more stories like this soon!

Top comments

I'm curious as to how old your younger sister is. It can greatly change how much of an FML this story is


Does anyone actually have a crowbar laying around to grab so quickly? Is that a thing?

AnOriginalName 19

Bullshit, #10. I keep a loaded Nerf gun under my desk for that precise reason. And you're telling me that it won't stop a burglar? I'll show you!

#10 thanks for the blast of nostalgia with the mention of Sock'em Boppers. More fun than a pillow fight!

If you shoot it at someone's eye, it probably would!

When I was little a creek in the floor scared me to death at night,it happens :p at least she let you know that she heard something right away!

Thank goodness it wasn't a river then. Those are even scarier.

MichellinMan 20

I'm ashamed at how long it took me to figure out that joke.

I'm curious as to how old your younger sister is. It can greatly change how much of an FML this story is

thebigtwinkie 28

Well, she never claimed to be the brightest crayon in the box!

If your crayons glow, you're doing it wrong.

... isn't it the sharpest crayon in the box? Or sharpest tool in the shed...?

Glowing crayons would be pretty damn awesome though

If the person swung the crowbar: Dad: Today, I came home and was smashed in the face by my daughter. FML

I'm wondering what the expression on dad's face was, when he turned around to see a crowbar looming over his head.

Holy crap. This could've ended really badly, good thing he's okay! And good job - you're a great brother :)

Best timed turn around ever! Lucky bastard

flashback_fml 14

Plus a real intruder would've had a gun and shot you

Nope, they wouldn't. Intruders in the UK are usually very stupid and do stupid things such as leave their fingerprints everywhere, their clothes, eat someone's food and leave their DNA, and even take pictures of themselves. I think there are some that are similar elsewhere in the world.

12- Urm... what? Intruder: "A person who intrudes, especially into a building with criminal intent." Nothing about guns there.

I don't know about the uk but I'm pretty sure it's the same as here in Canada. In Canada our gun policies are pretty strict and most of the people that have guns have shooting rifles for hunting, not handguns, so when we have burglars they usually don't have a gun because chances are they're going into a house without a gun as well.