Today, my wife is still not pregnant, but her sister is after the threesome we all had a few months ago. The threesome was my wife's idea, but I suspect I am still a dead man when it comes to whose fault it is. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had threesome with my wife and her best friend. Now my wife is mad at me for sleeping with her best friend. FML
Today, my wife's sister called with a confession. My wife never wanted children, but I did, but I thought she'd miscarried the first two, so we stopped trying. Her sister confessed that she'd actually aborted them and lied to me. We picked out names for them and she aborted them. FML
Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML
Today, I found out I’m gonna be a father. One day, I accidentally walked in on my sister-in-law changing. For some reason I’ll never understand, we ended up having a quickie doggystyle and swore to not talk about it ever again. She’s now 6 weeks pregnant. I’m a dead man if my wife finds out. FML
Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, two weeks after my wife of 3 years caught me screwing her sister in our bed, and she disappeared to her mom’s and refused to take my calls, she came home to get her stuff. Apparently on the night I cheated, she was about to tell me she was 6 weeks pregnant with my baby. She left for the two weeks to get an abortion. FML
Today, my wife and I have been trying for kids for years and nothing, yet my deadbeat brother just ran out on his third pregnant girlfriend in a row, with no intention of meeting the baby ever. FML
Today, my wife wanted to have a threesome. During our honeymoon. With the maid of honor. I didn't sign up for this. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
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Top comments
KingAdrock 16
Your wife asked for a threesome; with her own SISTER... AND you didn't use protection? YDI, Cletus.
sunnyray812 42
Why would you even agree for a threesome with your wife's sister? Why would she suggest it? I guess some incest gets her turned on. 😷
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Comments (49)
Veroswen 3
You, your wife, and her sister should not procreate. There's a 8 billion people in the world and you guys decide incest is a good idea. Nasty stuff
WHSKitty4ever 23
Hi, Uncle Dad!
Dr_Jackal 16
Only fools don’t wrap their tools!
BeefyQueefy 14
''Auntie Mommy, why don't l look more like Grandpa Daddy?''
Kitsi 14
Do you think it's possible that your wife and/or her sister wanted this to happen? Think about it. If your wife has trouble conceiving (which you seem to allude to in your FML), maybe she figured that at least she could have a baby with her sister's genes (close to hers) and yours. If that was the plan all along, then you're n the clear and you have a new baby coming. Win/win.
EveryDisaster 11
Now she must incest not to speak about it at Thanksgiving
Justin Allan Bannister 9
yeehawww Cleatus and Brandyne gettin kinky
DanielleinDC 34
Well, if nobody used protection, then it's partly your fault.
Sinshine 28
Who asks for a threesome with their own sibling? WTF
fjvitt 14
Maybe wifey knows she can’t get pregnant...and found a convenient surrogate ...