Today, my wife is still not pregnant, but her sister is after the threesome we all had a few months ago. The threesome was my wife's idea, but I suspect I am still a dead man when it comes to whose fault it is. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had threesome with my wife and her best friend. Now my wife is mad at me for sleeping with her best friend. FML
Today, my wife's sister called with a confession. My wife never wanted children, but I did, but I thought she'd miscarried the first two, so we stopped trying. Her sister confessed that she'd actually aborted them and lied to me. We picked out names for them and she aborted them. FML
Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML
Today, I found out I’m gonna be a father. One day, I accidentally walked in on my sister-in-law changing. For some reason I’ll never understand, we ended up having a quickie doggystyle and swore to not talk about it ever again. She’s now 6 weeks pregnant. I’m a dead man if my wife finds out. FML
Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, two weeks after my wife of 3 years caught me screwing her sister in our bed, and she disappeared to her mom’s and refused to take my calls, she came home to get her stuff. Apparently on the night I cheated, she was about to tell me she was 6 weeks pregnant with my baby. She left for the two weeks to get an abortion. FML
Today, my wife and I have been trying for kids for years and nothing, yet my deadbeat brother just ran out on his third pregnant girlfriend in a row, with no intention of meeting the baby ever. FML
Today, my wife wanted to have a threesome. During our honeymoon. With the maid of honor. I didn't sign up for this. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
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Top comments
KingAdrock 16
Your wife asked for a threesome; with her own SISTER... AND you didn't use protection? YDI, Cletus.
sunnyray812 42
Why would you even agree for a threesome with your wife's sister? Why would she suggest it? I guess some incest gets her turned on. 😷
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Comments (49)
Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14
Be a part of the child’s life. The kid isn’t responsible for what happened. The three of you can raise the child together. When he or she is old enough explain what happened. Whatever the three of you decide, do not abort. It’s murdering an innocent child. If none of you want the child, consider adoption. There are thousands of couples out there that cannot have children by natural ways that would be more than happy to have a child of their own. Do not abandon the child either. There are many Christian Churches that have no tell policies regarding leaving the child in their care. They will look after the child until the state determines a foster home.
ohsnapword 21
I can only imagine how that conversation would go. "Son, the person you grew up thinking is your mother is really your aunt. Your aunt is really your mother, making you your own cousin."
MidnaLink 35
I am not against threesomes AT ALL, but when you involve a sibling of either party, that’s where the line of digusting gets crossed. Yuck!
RichardPencil 32
It was a trap!!! Sorry you fell into that, Uncle Dad.
weazle 13
It’s a threesome even if the women don’t touch each other. Doesn’t make it incest to be in the same bed while your husband plows your sister and then you.
sunnyray812 42
They're still swapping vaginal fluids (oh, my god, that's so damn gross), so it's still somewhat incestual even if the sister didn't do anything to one another.
skyguy592 15
I mean maybe he left out the fact that she's her step sister?
Cowgirl1293 26
all we can do is hope!
childlessmother 16
One word “protection!”
TumblrweedPasses 11
Your wife wanted a threesome.... With her own sister.... And you got her pregnant Please god let this bloodline die out now
Jay Ward 5
You are a god why fml ? Haha is ur wife the cuter one?
Victor Gorgua 8
Why would you not finish in your WIFE??
jocamo 24
Precum has sperm, so he could have finished in a napkin and still gotten the sister preggers. Also he could have worn a condom that was faulty.
Deez_Knots 10
Ew, who would let their sister be part of a threesome. I think that’s still considered incest even if it’s two women
Bellisario 5
Yes, it is always incest when you have sexual relations with a sibling, gender or genders involved do not change that. I am sorry that you did not know that.