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I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Up and coming moderator

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I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

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Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

One more and it's business time

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See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.

Tommy Wiseau

You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.

I'm a rock star

You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

50 favorites

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50 quality comments

Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.


You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.

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Fjvitt's favorite FMLs

fishyrael tells us more.

OP here! I definitely found this funny pretty much as soon as I stopped crying, lol. I don't really drink both from low tolerance and disliking the taste, but I keep a box of Seagrams around for social drinking only since it's not very hard and you can't really taste the alcohol in it. It was a D&D session and another player's character died heroically trying to protect all of our characters and had a huge dramatic sendoff. After our characters escaped and everything died down, we agreed to go back and recover his body, which we're keeping on ice to resurrect as soon as we're able. My character was very close to him so I had roleplayed with him a lot. When the session ended with the character still dead, we all decided to raise a drink to him and I broke out one of the Seagrams in his honor. I was fine. The DM was fine. The player with the dead character was fine. We all knew we'd get him back in a week or two. But man...I finished that can and some kind of floodgate opened. We were just talking about the session and how cool everything was and I just started sobbing over it until I had to leave the call. As soon as I sobered up I was cracking jokes about it, but I thought the sheer extent to how intensely drunk I got off so little was frankly depressing, especially when the rest of the group was doing rum and vodka in his name!