Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML
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Top comments
JocelynKaulitz 28
Good thing it wasn't you?
foxesntea 22
At least you didn't feel the horror?
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Comments (24)
JocelynKaulitz 28
Good thing it wasn't you?
foxesntea 22
At least you didn't feel the horror?
framaram 9
Robin Sparkles did not warn me about this when she sang those iconic words "Lets go to the mall!"
Wizardo 34
Double barrel snotgun with crapshot ammunition.
socialproduct 19
Kind of reminds me of Mall Rats. Would anyone like a chocolate covered pretzel?
whathepony 13
Id say it's a fml for that guy :s
Wishe 17
Shouldn't this be more of an FML for them?
siggy_mcsigx 22
As a Rhode Islander, I'm imagining this happening in PPM food court...oh god.
RichardPencil 32
Ah, the dreaded Shneeze! I'll bet that "someone" is really "you."
mermaidgirle 12
more like eff that person's life. I can't imagine how horrible it was for THEM.