Love: Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff...

By nickw177 - 22/10/2012 01:21 - United States

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 299

You deserved it 20 743

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Witches Brew

By Hellassi - 09/07/2021 00:01

Today, my stepmom burned all my Harry Potter stuff. Apparently, Harry Potter is the "Devil’s plan to corrupt good Christian children" and "That shit is make believe anyway." What did my dad ever see in this evil witch? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 115

By Nate - 12/01/2012 05:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 776

You deserved it 59 099

Wizardry

By expectopatronum bitch! - 25/04/2023 13:00 - United States

Today, my brother-in-law brought his new girlfriend over to meet the family. Things went south real quick after she went on a tirade about what terrible parents my wife and I are for letting our kids keep all their Harry Potter memorabilia. Now he’s mad I threw her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 130

By harrysolo - 19/07/2009 01:26 - United States

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 568

You deserved it 65 202

By notabeliever - 29/07/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 754

You deserved it 7 205

Foreshadowing is a literary device…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 23:00

Today, I told my wife I wanted to reconnect with my religion. She told me that if I wanted to I could, but to expect divorce papers when I got back because she doesn’t intend to be married to one of those boring ass religious nut jobs ruining her Sunday mornings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 756

By MrOh - 09/08/2011 17:29 - Canada

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 667

You deserved it 4 512

By Jill - 15/06/2013 04:19 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 348

You deserved it 22 743

By Avery - 24/03/2012 20:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 554

You deserved it 29 985

By Dumbfounded - 08/08/2012 23:03 - United States - Padre Island Ntl Seashor

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 372

You deserved it 3 962

ninjawatcher 2

Monday 22 October 2012 9:00

Now I want to know what religion.

MisterDoctor 12

Monday 22 October 2012 9:10

Do you solemnly swear that she's up to no good?

Comments

ebbie 8

Saturday 3 November 2012 9:53

She's too young for you bro.

DasPatchCat 1

Sunday 9 December 2012 17:22

I'm Pagan, and I get that all the freaking time

blah2112 11

Saturday 26 January 2013 2:29

Same thing... They're both fake.

hiandrews69 29

Thursday 31 January 2013 0:16

Muggles... can't live with them, can't live without them.

banemask 14

Friday 16 August 2013 7:48

YDI for suspected cultism

viau 13

Saturday 21 September 2013 2:45

Harry potter 1, religion 0

a7x_RoCk3r 12

Wednesday 25 September 2013 1:16

It's all the same stuff

tigerlilytracey 6

Wednesday 9 October 2013 7:13

hp is awesome

KestrelGirl 15

Sunday 6 April 2014 1:36

Let me guess... Wicca?

sanamrvk 18

Wednesday 14 May 2014 18:14

What religion is that close to HP for the confusion?

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Kids Cute Money Birthday Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Scams Social Media School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Capitalism Miscellaneous Relationship advice Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 181

You deserved it 7 310

Today, I have a horribly painful throat infection and can't talk. In spite of this, Dad keeps insisting I call people for him, meaning I have to make use of a text to speech program. Eight out of twelve people I've called on his behalf have hung up, thinking I'm a scambot. Dad is blaming me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 82

The Top

Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 093

You deserved it 2 860

Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 266

You deserved it 2 213

Today, I received a letter from my college telling me that my instant tuition was revoked and I’ll have to pay almost twice as much next semester. Yesterday, I received the same letter. I guess they needed to tell me twice. It hurt just as much the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 749

You deserved it 253

Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 104

Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. Fifty minutes into the tattoo on my back, the artist said, "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 405

You deserved it 56 241

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 230

You deserved it 6 973

Same thing different taste

Witches Brew

Wizardry

Foreshadowing is a literary device…

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