Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
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Top comments
wysteria14 17
I'm vegan, and I can say that she's gone way too far. If she can't deal with her partner eating meat, she needs to find someone else.
iceking53 8
that's adding spice to the relationship
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Comments (280)
dragonrider1959 18
One does not have the right to force their life choices on another
Ahaddad123 27
Dump her she obviously has some issues if she can't deal with you eating meat.
karwank 13
Isn't that more teaching you a lesson for eating peppers I mean the meat didn't do you any harm. The vegetables were the problem there.
mzcupcakez 20
I just showed my hardcore vegetarian dad this and he just went like "hmmm". Upcoming FML post, maybe? I'm scared.
DarkCaesar 17
Teach her a "lesson" and finger her after eating something salty
thatguythat 9
The sad thing is that both vegan-ism and vegetarianism aren't scientifically viable from a health standpoint.
Ichiya 29
Most vegans need a carefully controlled diet to stay healthy.
orangeink25 3
stupid vegans, dump her like that big beautiful steak you had. get a real woman, or man... whatever, as long as he/she isnt a wild life obsessed vegan.
robertpayne2 5
Introduce her to my friend the Carolina Reaper.
tonyfan00 38
"friend"... time to break up with her!
innaCNS 5
You just gave me a great idea, i'll do the same :D
Ichiya 29
I hope who ever you do that too slaps you so hard your great grandfather rolls over in his grave.
LaurenRoxsU 9
I 2nd that. Despite also being a vegetarian. Life choices: key word being choice -_-