Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
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Top comments
wysteria14 17
I'm vegan, and I can say that she's gone way too far. If she can't deal with her partner eating meat, she needs to find someone else.
iceking53 8
that's adding spice to the relationship
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Comments (280)
Bootrick 11
Dump her
ajs1987 15
The next time you buy condoms, get sheep skin, but don't tell her until after you have sex.
skyeyez9 25
Teach her a lesson about violating a person's trust and screwing with their food by dumping her ass. Its one thing to be vegan or vegetarian, and that is ok. But don't shove your lifestyle and punish others just because they prefer meat.
lewaraly 8
Dump her
CrookedLegSpider 11
Yeah, she's definitely kind of crazy.
work_while_bent 13
add small amount of beef bullion to every vegetable she cooks. When she inevitably says "Ooh these are SOOO GOOOOD" you can say "yeah, because there's beef in 'em" and then dump her.
Stuffaluffagus 25
Why would you want to be with someone who didn't eat meat anyway?
dragoongirl90 34
Hell yeah!
MapleKitten 16
dump her ass
snowfoxrox 3
So, she used a plant to ruin your steak and hurt you in an attempt to get you to want to eat more plants? Her logic is beyond flawed.
rachel8234 3
if you had her cook and fix your steak then ydi. if not then you probably need to break up with her.
limabeans101029 21
Even if she'd prepared the steak, he still wouldn't deserve it. No one was forcing her to cook it. (I doubt that this was the situation anyway)