Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
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Top comments
wysteria14 17
I'm vegan, and I can say that she's gone way too far. If she can't deal with her partner eating meat, she needs to find someone else.
iceking53 8
that's adding spice to the relationship
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Comments (280)
JudgeComrade 17
Put bacon grease in everything she eats.
Parvati48 15
Put it on her salad next time to teach her a lesson! I'm sorry that happened to you OP, she knew you ate meat when you started dating she should not be doing that!
NicH1799 20
Dump her, that shit's dangerous.
soulreaper12296 28
Sneak some steak into her salad.
syed121417 22
Honestly, I really hate the whole vegetarian vs. Meat eater thing. It's so stupid. It's like religion: conceptually it's great and you can follow what you want but it starts to be annoying once people can't accept that everyone thinks differently on the topic and starts shoving beliefs down throats. If she can't even accept that her boyfriend eats meat, then she has som growing up to do. Sorry, OP. If you wanna eat meat or you don't want you I eat meat, whatever. Just eat your own damn food.
burristhethird 16
Put that same stuff in whatever she eats. Everyday. Or tell her after she eats something that there was meat in it. Make her eat meat. She will die due to the lack of fats and meat.
HeWillBeLoved105 22
She's not going to die you moron. There are plenty of things you can eat besides meat.
Violord 13
Ditch her. If she can't handle you eating meat, she needs to go date another vegetarian.
evolute72113 9
I hope you meant vegetarian ex-girlfriend
RocketmanWelbz 17
That bitch is cray cray
HeWillBeLoved105 22
Vegetarians who force that on you are bullshit. Just because she is vegetarian, doesn't mean you have to be. I hope you know that OP.