Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
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Top comments
wysteria14 17
I'm vegan, and I can say that she's gone way too far. If she can't deal with her partner eating meat, she needs to find someone else.
iceking53 8
that's adding spice to the relationship
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Comments (280)
RhineBl 17
Time for revenge! Do it back. On all the veggies. She wants to play rough, you play rough.
Ichiya 29
Buy a pig then butcher it. Eat the meat and mail the head to your ex gf.
dragoongirl90 34
Ohhh rage.... Bitch would have that sauce shoved into every orifice before I bodily threw her into the street.
kydraper 4
Time for some Ghost pepers in her salad :)
ShenaniganNinja 20
This is hilariously ironic. She added a plant to your meat to punish you for eating meat, when in reality it was the plant that made you hurt. If anything this just reinforces the thought that meat is good.
bobsanction 18
I assume you meant ex-girlfriend?
petergozinya37 8
Hide some meat in her food
Rodopen 19
Well was it good?
RAKExBEN 9
Go **** yourself with a cactus. Why should we die just because you, a judgmental bitch with no respect and or pride, don't praise OUR INDIVIDUAL life choices. Stop being a deranged asswhipe, and get a couple hundred reality checks.
thes7274473 19
My eye literally twitched when I read this
novashade1337 2
next time you shpuld tell her the next time she's eating that animals are now closer to death because she is eating their ******* food and are dying because of people like her