Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
wysteria14 17
I'm vegan, and I can say that she's gone way too far. If she can't deal with her partner eating meat, she needs to find someone else.
iceking53 8
that's adding spice to the relationship
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (280)
LPisLame 16
I would've poured some in her ******...take that veggie girl.
weveallbeenthere 30
I got a warning from fml for a similar post.
KyleLord_ 9
If she is against your beliefs, you two won't be very compatible. Also, keep eating meat, the human race never would have been any where as smart if they didn't learn to hunt and eat meat. Humans would have the brain of a deer.
BrotherPhil 35
Fish was probably more important for our development. Muscle meat from land animals is low in omega-3 fatty acids, which are what is needed for a big brain. Humans would have had to _eat_ the brain of a deer.
Kevlar_burrito 6
Put some in her shampoo
Fas4wd 13
Put some ghost pepper hot sauce on her nasty tofu to teach her not to be a bitch.
spicyclubsauce 13
You just summed up veganism my friend . Kidding kidding! But most of them are judgmental. If ya cant accept my Way of life, dont expect me to accept yours. Besides, most of them are not true vegans anyway.....majority still eat meat or fish on a daily basis ?
Algorithm 24
1) You obviously don't accept them regardless about how they feel about you. 2) No they don't.
Ki11erC 18
Find 10 million condoms for the next time you have sex, now, this is the important bit, put them on... I'll leave the rest to you seeing as you're about to be caught hot on the job unless you make some good decisions fast lol
shmoooopie 29
what?
pantsman66 20
Maybe put some ghost pepper on the condom tonight to take revenge
katertott 44
That's totally uncalled for and extremely immature! I hope you're okay- that stuff can really pack a punch. For the record... Am I vegetarian? Yes. Does my boyfriend eat meat? Yes. Would I do the same thing to him? Yes- but only because we absolutely love insanely-hot hot sauces! :P
Vivi99 12
You never mess with a persons food
ICouldntThinkOfaUsername 10
I'm vegan too, but I still think she went overboard on that one. A lecture on the meat industry would have been better.
smokecloud_ 37
Or you could, ya know, respect other people's opinions and lifestyle choices and leave it at that.