Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
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Top comments
wysteria14 17
I'm vegan, and I can say that she's gone way too far. If she can't deal with her partner eating meat, she needs to find someone else.
iceking53 8
that's adding spice to the relationship
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Comments (280)
German_97 23
Vegetarians like this make every vegetarian look bad, really sad.
Algorithm 24
Only to people who generalize.
jess_smith 7
I say grounds for break up because it could have put OP in the hospital. Ghost peppers are not something you mess with. Add to that the fact she doesn't respect OP's decision about food makes me wonder if she will respect any life choices OP makes.
EvilLittleMan 23
Just sprinkle some ghost pepper on your jiffy hat.
GunSlinger69 19
Are you kidding me? Dump that stupid bitch right now if she can't accept you for who you are..
be82tw 17
Don't be involved with anyone willing to mess with your food: It is both dangerous and disturbingly disrespectful. It is hard to imagine a relationship with someone willing to stoop to this level being in any way healthy.
Headcrab 29
You should have thrown it away and say 'now it died for nothing thanks to you'.
renegadedarling 15
Dump her, that's disrespectful
RiseAboveSociety 3
pretty sure that the only thing she taught you was to choose a different girlfriend...
Caelophile 8
Dafuq was the lesson?
mattyiscool123 26
That must have been the worst 15 minutes of your life