Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
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Top comments
wysteria14 17
I'm vegan, and I can say that she's gone way too far. If she can't deal with her partner eating meat, she needs to find someone else.
iceking53 8
that's adding spice to the relationship
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Comments (280)
more4me 27
Stupid bitch !
kiaora_fml 11
Id leave her, stuff that hot can have dire consequences for people like asthmatics and others. If she is willing to do this, imagine what else she would do. Get a new girlfriend.
89scarlet 11
break up with her asap. #meat4lyf ?
nevereyes 31
Dump her on the spot, don't know why you'd date a vegetarian in the first place.
ToxicTyrael 26
When she can't accept your habits she'll probably try to change your whole personality. Better watch out and if she really is trying you have to leave her because you have to be yourself and need someone who accepts you.
taylorzgoines 16
unbeknownst to her, OPs taste buds died years ago
doubleofuck 20
My advice: Don't do it back to her and do not try to secretly feed her meat. Take the high road and talk to her about it. What she did was rude and potentially harmful. If she refuses to listen to you or continues to not respect your eating habits then I think you should reconsider your relationship with her.
Ichiya 29
Don't give the bitch a second chance let her die alone nibbling on a stalk of celery.
saphy222 17
Why would she ruin perfectly good steak????? That's such a waste
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Is she insane?
sthrnbell 9
What a jerk! Break up with her now before she puts ghost pepper on other things to teach you a lesson!