Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
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Top comments
wysteria14 17
I'm vegan, and I can say that she's gone way too far. If she can't deal with her partner eating meat, she needs to find someone else.
iceking53 8
that's adding spice to the relationship
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Comments (280)
Nimor 25
Sounds like her brain lacks the protein needed to function properly. Switching to a meat bases diet is recommended!
sullivankeara 25
She needs to be accepting of your lifestyle
1ch4bod_Cr4n3 6
now you can put meat in her favorite vegetarian dish. watch her scream! probably cry too haha.
Jesse_Bitch 9
This is solid ground for you to break up with her. If she can't respect your life choices, and tries to force her own onto you, then you should ditch her.
SparksTheSadie 18
Not when her life choice is objectively, measurably better than yours.
smokecloud_ 37
Found the vegan.
mt631 18
#44 No, not really. He gets to make his own choices. If he chooses to eat meat, then that's ok. She doesn't get to force her choices on him.
ksks1234 33
44-- according to you, a vegetarian/ vegan's life choice is "objectively, better than" a meat eaters, so they should be able to potentially harm said meat eaters? That is messed up.
Algorithm 24
Let's all just agree to not **** over other peoples' food. As a side note, I'm a vegetarian who loves ghost pepper sauce. We're two halves of a whole, OP.
lyricalservant 21
Lesson #1. I think you still have a few more lessons
Johnnycake23 42
That's one saucy lady you have there!
spicyclubsauce 13
Boom tish! ?
mistress_paz 30
Deal breaker! Don't date crazy!
Wolfparable 22
No lie I think that's grounds for a break up. That was totally unnecessary and rather mean of her.
CourtJester27 12
You deserved it! Anyone that vigilant about meat knows no bounds! Please be safe by discarding anything you own that once had a face!!! she CrayCray yo!
laden_swallow09 35
Yeah, just as insane and stupid as you are, 49. Humans are natural-born omnivores, despite what your own lifestyle choices are. You can be vegan if you want to; that's your choice, and I can respect that. Once you forget that it IS. YOUR. OWN. CHOICE and your choice alone to be a vegan is when you lose that respect. Then you just come off as pretentious, condescending, and just plain arrogant.