Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
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Top comments
wysteria14 17
I'm vegan, and I can say that she's gone way too far. If she can't deal with her partner eating meat, she needs to find someone else.
iceking53 8
that's adding spice to the relationship
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Comments (280)
Perfectly_Killer 14
Unless you shove meat down her throat, she should ignore what you eat and never do that again!
SAspring 17
Oh I'm sure he does.
Parvati48 15
I see what you did there. XD
pigsfly24 6
Maybe a little revenge if you plan on sticking with her? Nothing notorious, maybe just laxative in some brownies?
weveallbeenthere 30
put some ghost pepper sauce on your fingers and rub her clit or asshole.
energizerbunny23 18
That's too far man
xninix_fml 36
Way too ******* far
GunSlinger69 19
17 and 34 it was a joke, sheesh..
weveallbeenthere 30
they don't get it.
GunSlinger69 19
And of course they get upvoted, this community has no sense of humor..
weveallbeenthere 30
most people have lost that. 95% of them blame someone else and I'm tired of seeing "sue them" etc....
addisonrose12 16
I up voted! ;)
weveallbeenthere 30
thanks. only 25 more and I can be back at 0
jackycat 17
Instead of whining that no one has a sense of humor on this site anymore, maybe you should understand that your joke wasn't funny.
tchatter 7
Dump that crazy bitch.
eyebrowzzz 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Either dump that heartless bitch or slip some cut up meat into her food to teach her a lesson !
energizerbunny23 18
Well maybe her meal isn't hot enough, you may need to add some Chilli to it?
chikinscratch00 8
lol
samantha236le 17
You could show a taxidermy how-to video. That'll be payback enough.
Ihavegas 22
and you man it out and eat that steak, respect bro!
clair_brodie 35
Did you break up with her to 'teach her a lesson' about ******* with peoples food?