Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was, "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML
Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, I was playing some children's music while I cooked so my two-year-old was entertained a little. I started dancing while cooking and she looked at me with a straight face and said, "Mama... Don't dance." FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
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Top comments
soccerkrzy 0
Please be dirt....and not poo...
dmmd8686 0
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...anyone who says YDI is foolish
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Comments (173)
coopcas 0
I hope you complimented the chef.
FurrTrap 0
Mmmm, hopefully not poo! Kids can be delightful at times!!!
EffYoLife 14
YDI everyone knows dont let a 2 year old stick their nasty finger in ur mouth. where did she get "chocolate" if u didnt give her any. Furthermore even if she HAD chocolate, dont let a dirty handed 2 year old feed it to you. 2 year olds r nasty..digging in their noses and things of that nature lol
lovablylovable 0
I don't even wanna know!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I pray it wasn't crap.............eeeeewwwwww...........
frigid_days 0
#6 is such a fag. He comments In every fml being a douche bag
ivoryshade 0
How can kids STAND the idea of playing with feces?? Do they not have any sense of smell or taste? FYL for sure that's just gross...
FBIWarning 0
YDI, reflex's FTW
idratherbewrestl 0
Shouldn't have let her watch 2 girls 1 cup....
Dashuhn 1
YDI. Your two year old isn't tall enough, and doesn't have the strength to force you to put their hand into your mouth. And really, the smell should've given it away.
xf0rg0tt3nx 0
The mum could've been kneeling down, and the kid could've put in in her mum's mouth while she was talking.
dinosaursmoo 0
BLEHHHHHHHH! And ahahahahahhahha #29. My friend watched that and she said she was scarred for life.