Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
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Top comments
Wreckless_fml 6
Sounds like a winner to me.
saIty 17
He probably saw the axe commercial. He wants the chicks all over his mouth.
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Comments (193)
ShadowBitch99 2
Hahahaha, dumbass.
wobeert 7
You guys are missing the point! he was getting high off of axe and then passed out. He fooled you guys.
djeq2006 0
It even says on the can "DO NOT SWALLOW" LOL
shaunM 6
you do realise your son could have died as a result of his stupid idea and didnt stop him from doing it in the first place
only1starr 0
my brother sprayed it in my mouth and nothing happened to me..
Maximus22 0
Sorry, but you raised a dumbass.
Seadizzle 0
You can get high from inhaling that stuff, maybe that was his intent.
Mr25_fml 14
sounds like a Harvard-bound student to me!
jsturaveragegirl 5
Not the sharpest tool in the shed now is he?
cootch 0
you sir have raised the next Einstein u must be proud