Geek: Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's... - FML

By apparentnerd - 31/10/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's using my clothes for the costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 627

You deserved it 7 857

Vulture

You tried

Crossword anxiety

By jameen - 25/08/2013 12:50 - United Kingdom - Tadley

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 635

You deserved it 46 277

By JJ101 - 19/02/2010 11:52 - Australia

Today, I was teaching a special techniques class for ballet and was focusing on pirouettes. I was teaching a group of 8 year olds, and one student could do perfect triple turns one after the other. I still can't do them, and I've been dancing for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 158

You deserved it 6 066

By Cherie - 31/08/2009 21:18 - United States

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 684

You deserved it 10 406

By Anonymous - 03/08/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 861

You deserved it 4 764

HALLO?

By BrilsmurfO_O - 06/04/2009 14:12 - Netherlands

Today, I was at IKEA with my parents. I walked away from them and later I heard the speaker of the store call my name asking me to come to the playground because my mom and dad were worried. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 963

You deserved it 4 948

By reedcarter - 04/12/2012 02:14

Spicy

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 966

You deserved it 2 029

Same old story

By Anonymous - 07/10/2021 02:00

Today, after 8 years and a house bought together, I realised I regret getting married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 430

By thanksgrandpa - 08/03/2016 20:08 - Canada - Concord

Today, an attractive woman sat beside me at the doctor's office. Unfortunately, on my other side was my senile old uncle who can't control his bowels, and after a few uncontrollable farts, she was on the other side of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 861

You deserved it 1 609

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 12:55 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, after weeks of being engaged and with the wedding date planned, I finally told my parents. They told me it was my best April Fool's joke ever. I should've waited one more day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 353

You deserved it 5 640

By mdp624 - 16/08/2012 12:10 - United States - Brookhaven

Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 652

You deserved it 1 552

By Herestheskinny - 29/04/2017 02:00

Today, I was helping a women that was looking for skin care products. She kept commenting on the look and "texture" of my skin in a very creepy and almost hungry fashion. I'm afraid that she wants to skin me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 528

You deserved it 473

By Steph - 19/08/2019 02:00 - United States

Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 399

By BulldogHoops - 12/11/2012 05:12 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 293

You deserved it 2 424

Mr Empathy

By Anonymous - 24/10/2021 20:00

Today, over the past 48 hours, my husband has ignored a dog with a broken leg, because, “It’s not our dog, so it’s not our problem,” and also ignored a young lost boy crying for his mother in Asda, because, “He’s not our son, so who cares?” I think I want a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 223

Fight the power!

By Balphleair - 19/10/2019 13:00 - Lebanon - Saida

Today, my country went on strike and is overthrowing the government, and I'm stuck on a night shift at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 12:17 - United States

Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 491

You deserved it 5 078

By Full Stomach Empty Wallet - 06/08/2015 10:50 - United States - Danvers

Today, I discovered that the five-star meal that my friend treated me to last night was actually meant to be repayment of the $200 I loaned her last month. I needed that money for bills and she refuses to give me another cent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 920

You deserved it 2 594

By Anonymous - 02/05/2016 21:42 - United States - Danville

Today, working night shift at a nursing home, I can tell the difference between the smell of different people's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 762

You deserved it 925

By Anonymous - 08/02/2015 22:24 - United States - Southlake

Today, my mother called me, telling me how disappointed she was at how I let my room "become such a pigsty." I haven't lived there in three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 354

You deserved it 2 305

By gibsonSG323 - 14/06/2010 23:13 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 663

You deserved it 28 504

By Mark - 09/09/2011 04:51 - United States

Today, a car backed into mine. I thought that was pretty bad, until another car backed into me right after I'd finished taking the first guy's info. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 326

You deserved it 2 175

By UnwantedDisappointment - 18/01/2019 00:00

Today, I accidentally saw my boyfriend's sexts to a guy he's friends with. He's been turning me down for sex for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 784

You deserved it 238

Move!

By patrickRafael - 29/12/2009 14:21 - Singapore

Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 331

You deserved it 2 998

By 42 - 07/07/2010 09:43 - Canada

Today, my parents told me that I was born to entertain my brother. I have found the meaning of life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 680

You deserved it 4 105

By JefferyT - 03/06/2011 05:16 - United States

Today, I was taken to my first session with my psychiatrist. The entirety of the facility, from the waiting room to the doc's office was decorated with dead butterflies in glass. I was there for my crippling mottephobia, the irrational fear of moths and butterflies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 778

You deserved it 4 540

By Anonymous - 30/12/2009 07:08 - Canada

Today, while taking a shower, I noticed that I had forgotten to shave my pits. I went to a party last night, and there are now several Facebook pictures of me dancing, with my arms up and my hairy pits showing for the world to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 656

You deserved it 39 235

By the lannisters send their retards - 17/06/2014 20:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 252

You deserved it 4 539

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 05:59 - United States - Jeromesville

Today, a friend invited me to christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there she told me her and her husband forgot they had another dinner to go to and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 073

You deserved it 2 877

Pompous twat

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 06:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, this guy who I thought was my friend said that my "existence is of minimal consequence," and that I'm "an individual I clearly don't acknowledge." All this after he'd said, "I'm not trying to hurt you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 72

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 722

You deserved it 5 470

By I hear everything... - 22/04/2017 18:00

Today, I can now identify which of my four roommates is using the washroom, based on their grunts. I just love having a bedroom beside the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 017

You deserved it 281

By soljaboy - 04/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 094

You deserved it 152 441

By bleach - 24/03/2013 05:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 141

You deserved it 13 137

By idiot says pussy - 21/01/2014 17:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 284

You deserved it 7 914

By emeraldarcher74 - 19/11/2016 18:34 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 202

You deserved it 1 319

Gullible's travels

By mikay1413 - 08/10/2019 20:00

Today, my step-sister asked me what an organ donor was. I told her it's someone who delivers pianos. She believed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 386

Incognito IRL

By Stressed out mom - 07/03/2018 01:30

Today, my daughter confessed that she’s pregnant from a one-night stand with some guy she met on vacation in Florida a few months ago. The dirtbag never told her his last name and the phone number he gave her was fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 035

You deserved it 3 259

Faithful

By Munkeh - 12/04/2012 20:42 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 415

You deserved it 4 033

By saraleerocha - 02/11/2010 06:20 - France

Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 786

You deserved it 14 281

By NeverDrinkingAgain - 09/12/2010 12:31 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 629

You deserved it 43 615

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:07

wtf? that's not even all that bad. people dress like squares all the time and it's pretty cute. :P

perdix 29

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:16

I could have lent her my slide rule and pocket pencil protector. Nerds rule!

Comments

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:07

wtf? that's not even all that bad. people dress like squares all the time and it's pretty cute. :P

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:54

The FML isn't that she's dressing as a nerd.. its that she's saying he wears nerdy clothes, moron...

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Saturday 31 October 2009 23:05

I think #1 knows what the FML is...he/she is just saying that wearing nerdy clothes isn't that bad. OP: Should've told her to be an emo for Halloween. I was an emo and it was extremely fun :D

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Saturday 31 October 2009 23:32

People are so rude on this site. #1 got the point, just didn't get why it was that bad. And neither do I. OP just needs to get some self confidence and stop caring about what everyone else thinks about them.

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:09

hahahhaa, nerd

sarahalyssa_fml 0

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Tuesday 3 August 2010 2:16

you know, I do not wish to sound like a parent (I am not) but "nerd"? Nobody is a "nerd" Labels are quite false and they are opinions so they change too quickly.

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:10

My friend has these super cool "Nerd Glasses" :) I wanna be a nerd for Halloween!

I_am_stupid_also 6

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:12

One time I was at a party hanging out with some chick that didn't wear a costume. Then we started talking with some other girl who was wearing the exact same clothes. She said she was wearing a bimbo costume.

perdix 29

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:16

I could have lent her my slide rule and pocket pencil protector. Nerds rule!

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:25

Big Deal

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:26

geek chic! embrace it :)

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:28

so she dressed up for a nerd...

Chopperman_fml 0

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:57

There's a bit of a dissonance, right? OP can't be a nerd with that kind of grammar...

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:29

Any clothes can make any look with enough rearranging. /Dressed as Chester Bennington for kicks

Demonik_soldier 0

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Saturday 31 October 2009 22:41

YDI shouldn't be a nerd

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 9

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 143

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 91