Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like, "I'm a bear." FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML
Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jazminbliss 2
then shout back "yeah and I see a bunch of asses"
Exhumed91 0
You should have asked them if they want to do it like they do on the discovery channel
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (115)
shaBAMalex 0
what the hell is with all of the racist comments? seriously, guys.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
lol @ the racism brigade. You do realize that gorillas are a dark colour right? OMG LIKE BLACK PEOPLE!
FBIWarning 0
#22 = win
ohhhhshizzz 0
#32: Don't be a troll, you are stooping very low. And there are many things I wanna say right now. But! I will stay nice and just kindly tell you to: shut the **** up, you racist bitch. *Things are so easy when you don't yell and say things nicely.
screwthislife 0
HAHAHA... Shit, sorry ... but uh thats harsh..gorilla? damn. they're asses anyway, i bet they weren't going anywhere fun.
magnerdian1763 0
oh my gosh, im so sorry! dont take it to heart, they dont know anything =]
hayride1987 0
maybe you should shave?
LilKonvicted 0
You should have run after them making gorilla noises!!
jessxoxo28 5
thats terrible. i agree with #39 though, lol that would be so funny
AnaMaree 0
Haha #7 wins. And maybe there was somebody else they were talking about?