Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like, "I'm a bear." FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML
Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML
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Top comments
jazminbliss 2
then shout back "yeah and I see a bunch of asses"
Exhumed91 0
You should have asked them if they want to do it like they do on the discovery channel
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Comments (115)
cj_gurl 0
The hysterical part is that they all think they're so clever and funny and wantable. I'm laughing right now because they're so stupid they don't realize how immature and self-defeating they are. Please... don't feel that was an FML. Instead, think about how lucky you are that they outted themselves as small-minded little boys. Now that you know they're worthless, ignore them and focus on the REAL men and women in the world; the ones who are worth your time and attention.
cj_gurl 0
#89--- The word is "you're". It means "you are." As in: "You're illiterate."
BluEG0pher 0
what #3 said. please defend your self!
graciegirl 0
#30: i really hope they're women. I don't know how i feel about men in animal prints.. and did you happen to get your user name from mr selvig's history class? just a wild guess...
xoLoveox 0
#4 and #7 HAHHAHAHAH LMAO NICEE ONE
hanamama 0
#4, nice. F* your roomie's life for wearing a zebra print t-shirt, though... lol.
CPTobvious_fml 0
You should be mad at your roommate for looking like a zebra! HA.... this is the funniest post I've seen in a couple of days.
isabellarobbins 0
thats not so ba...oh...your the gorilla...ahha yeah fyl
s4ucy_ 0
Oy, sounds like the typical frat boys that go to my school. shit heads.
ShelbyG 0
AHAHAHA. Favoritedd. Mean and Retarted? Yess. Hillarious? Also Yes.... If It was me I'd prolly be psycho mad, or sobbing like crazy....Either way I'd kick some ass!